Out to Sea Page #3

Synopsis: Care-free Charlie cons his widower brother-in-law Herb into an expenses-paid luxury cruise in search of rich, lonely ladies. The catch is that they are required to be dance hosts! With a tyrannical cruise director, and the luscious Liz and lovely Vivian, our heroes have lots of mis-adventures before they finally return to port.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Martha Coolidge
Production: Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment
 
IMDB:
6.1
Metacritic:
49
Rotten Tomatoes:
36%
PG-13
Year:
1997
106 min
252 Views


I have been in a taxi cab

for an hour and a half.

I need to take a crap and a nap,

and I do not need an audience.

- Sounds like a party we can miss.

- We'll see you later, ladies.

Bye now.

Oh, boy. Did you see the chassis

on that broad?

I'll bet she's worth

a few mil.

This must be wrong. I mean,

why would they have us way down here?

I like it down here. Gives us a chance

to get away from the commotion up top.

What, like the other

passengers and the view? This is us.

Listen to me. I've been meaning

to tell you something.

Before you go into the room,

Herbie, please listen to me.

- Cozy, isn't it?

- It's what? Cozy?

A good fart will

give you a concussion.

Needs a little daylight.

Herb, this is the best possible thing

that could've happened.

Gee, I can't wait

to hear why.

- As dance hosts, it's actually our job...

- What?

- To flirt with all the classy broads.

- Our job? Dance hosts?

Yeah, that's how I was able

to afford the tickets.

Instead of paying for the cruise,

I signed us up as dance hosts.

- So the cruise is free.

- What do you mean it's free, you idiot?

- We're workin' here!

- We're not workin'.

We're dancing and cavorting.

Oh, you moron. You don't even

know how to dance.

Well, that's why

I brought you here.

Oh. Perhaps we're interrupting

you gentlemen at a bad time.

Welcome aboard.

We're gonna be sharing the bathroom.

This is Jonathan Deveraux.

I'm Mac Vela, U.S.M.C., retired.

- I'll be your liaison to the C.D.

- The what "D"?

Cruise director.

Gil Godwyn.

Oh, it's too bad you got Gil

for your first gig.

- He's a real prick.

- Control freak.

- Friggin' Nazi.

- Classic megalomaniac.

Not a nice man.

Well, if you have

any questions, feel free.

I got one question.

What's the fastest route off this ship?

Excuse me.

- Hiya.

- Hello.

- Okay, Chief. Let's pull the gangway in.

- Take in the gangway, Captain.

All visitors should

now be ashore. Last call, please.

All visitors

should now be ashore.

Pardon me!

Ohh!

Oh, my God.

Sir, are you okay?

- Yeah, I think.

- There you go. You sure?

Thank you. Yeah.

- God, that's embarrassing.

- Only for you.

- Oh, my God!

- What?

The ship's moving.

- Ships are known to do that.

- Wait a minute! I need that gangplank!

Please.! Hello.! Somebody.!

I gotta use that sucker.!

L... I've gotta...

Hello.!

Where the hell did they go

with my luggage?

Oh, God Almighty. Thank you very much.

What's the matter with you?

- You got a problem?

- Not really.

L- I always cry at sailings.

They're so romantic.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Please join your cruise

staffby the Lido Pool...

on the upper promenade deck aft

for the gala sail-away fiesta.

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Robert Nelson Jacobs

Robert Nelson Jacobs (born 1954) is an American screenwriter. In 2000, he received an Academy Award nomination for best adapted screenplay for Chocolat. In 2014, Jacobs was elected president of the Writers Guild Foundation, a non-profit organization devoted to promoting and preserving the craft of writing for the screen. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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