On the Double Page #3

Now sometimes the long chance

is the only chance.

Perhaps you're right.

Well, I'll tell you

what we'll do.

We'll have this fellow,

Private Williams,

brought in tomorrow and leave it

to the general to make

the final decision.

How's that?

The general himself?

Heh, one thing we've learned

from you Americans,

my boy, the higher

you pass the buck,

the longer it takes

to come back to you.

( upbeat theme playing )

NARRATOR:

Our code name for this chap

was to be Dead Pigeon.

Goodness, do you think

he heard me?

Okay, Corporal.

We'll take it from here.

Come along.

Sir Lawrence,

this is Project 402.

Good heavens.

Oh, please don't judge by

his present unprepossessing

appearance, sir.

Z-2 has investigated him

thoroughly, sir.

This man has an amazing

ability for mimicry.

Oh, jolly, we'll have

to make sure.

Step forward, man.

Step forward, damn it!

Uh...

Turn around.

Faster!

I can't turn around

any faster, sir.

If I turn around fast,

I get dizzy

and nauseous

and everything, sir.

Yes, sir.

It's like this, sir.

You see, sir.

It's a form

allergenic vertigo, sir.

It's, uh, a deviation

of the inner ear.

It's quite an interesting

problem medically.

I wrote a letter to draft board,

explaining the whole thing.

MACKENZIE:

What is this ruddy nonsense?

I say, stop it, you hear.

Halt!

I say there is a vague physical

resemblance, but I do say,

chaps, don't you think we're

going a bit near the knuckle?

Oh, excuse me. MI-5 have also

investigated this man, sir.

Tested him thoroughly.

His impersonation of you

is skillful even uncanny.

Please don't judge

too hastily, sir.

Yes, yes, yes.

Of course.

Mm, uh.

Uh ,what did you say

this chap's name was?

Williams.

Private Ernest Williams.

MACKENZIE:

Yes, of course. Uh, you.

Let me hear you play

General MacKenzie-Smith

in your uncanny

and skillful way.

( coughing and gibbering )

Would you mind

putting out that cigar, sir?

I'm allergic to tobacco.

My sinuses simply are not

equipped to handle it, sir.

It's all in that letter,

page four, paragraph three.

Look here, man!

I haven't got all day!

General Eisenhower

is waiting.

Oh, tell him not to, sir.

I don't do him.

( sneezes )

Of all the blithering idiots,

I give you exactly five seconds

to comply with my order

or I'll ruddy well have you

taken out and shot!

Or are you allergic

to that too?

( imitates Mackenzie ) :

Of all the blithering idiots,

I give you exactly five seconds

to comply with my order

or I'll ruddy well have you

taken out and shot!

Or are you allergic

to that too?

Rather good, me boy.

Rather good.

I say, that's quite

a remarkable resemblance.

I'm glad you think so, sir.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes