On the Beat Page #3

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- l'm letting my dad down. Do you see?

- Get out.

Yeah.

You know, Mr Bollington,

you haven't got it here either.

You can rest assured, one of these days

l shall be a policeman.

Just like my dad was.

l'd, erm, like to join the police, please, sir.

- Name?

- Um...Pitkin.

Haven't l seen your face

somewhere before?

No, sorry.

Well, you're a fine, tall specimen.

Wait here. l'll see if l can get you

a medical check.

All...all right.

(Whimpers)

You're lucky. The doctor was just going.

This way.

Well, close the door.

Good gracious!

Well, come on, over here.

Good Lord!

lt's been a shocking old day again,

hasn't it?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Now, then...

Seven foot one!

Hey, wait a minute, that's my fault.

You've still got your hat on.

Now...

Ooh, damn it. Any damage?

No, it's all right.

- Six foot eleven.

- Yeah.

Come on, over here.

Read that chart.

- Z

- Yeah.

- B

- Clearly.

- R

- Say that again.

R. Aaargh!

That saves time later. Go on, next line.

D, O, H.

P, J, W, E,

W, H, N...

- Hello.

- Hello. Er, D...

- W, Z, T...

- Never mind that for a minute.

- What?

- God!

- What?

- You've got a very good ear.

- Oh. Have l?

- Yeah. Are you fond of music?

Of course. l love music.

Then l might be able

to put you into the police choir.

Ooh! What? ln...

l'm the choirmaster.

- (Excited stuttering)

- Now, don't go away.

Now, then. Wait a minute.

There we are.

Now, see if you can read that.

l think l can.

Q, R, Z...

B flat? A natural?

L, B...

(Sings) C sharp.

(Both sing) G, B, C sharp...

- C sharp.

- And a D. D.

Da dee da-da dee-dee dee-da

la-la-la dee-dee

La-la la-la-tra la-la-la

la-la-la-la la-la-la-la la-la-la la-la lo

La-la-la dicky um-pum

pum-pum dicky-dicky um-pum

La...

La-la-la dicky um-pum

La-la-la

La la la laa-laa-laaaaaa!

- How do you like that tune?

- Oh, pretty, pretty, pretty!

lt's a little thing l knocked off myself.

Yeah? l thought l'd heard it

somewhere before.

Come over here.

Weight!

Come on, then.

Weight.

What is your...weight?

Oh... (Chuckles)

Nine stone 12 pounds dead.

How much alive?

- Oh, yeah.

- How's that?

Come over here.

Now, take your jacket off, roll

your sleeve up and sit down there.

Nine stone 12...dead.

Hold that under there,

there's a good chap.

There we are.

We'll soon get you fixed up.

There.

l don't like the look of that.

lt'll have to come off.

- What? Me arm?

- No, no, no, no. This.

(Air hisses)

The next thing is to test your reflexes.

That's the next item on the agenda, lad.

Now, then. Hold that up there like that.

There we are.

Feel that?

- Your elbow!

- Oh!

Take it away.

- Ow!

- Gotcha!

Cross your legs.

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