Office Uprising Page #2
- Year:
- 2018
- 443 Views
You know what I really miss, Mohammed?
Wearing my shoes at the airport.
One, uh, my name is Mourad, okay.
And two, I grew up in Jakarta,
which is a long way from the Middle East,
- and three, for the billionth...
- You're a pacifist,
one who just happens to
work at a weapons company.
- Come on.
- I have student loans.
Yeah, whatever. If the ax is gonna fall,
it's gonna fall on one of you b*tches.
Now, me, I'm co-deputy regional manager.
I'll probably be promoted.
Well, it helps that
you're Mr. Gantt's nephew,
That's true. So who's it gonna be?
Well, I...
I can't get fired. I got
a... I got a mortgage,
alimony, two kids in college.
Viagra's a fortune. Oh, God.
I'm so screwed.
- I am so screwed.
- (keys jingling)
See, what you need to
do is you just grab a key
and you stab someone's
ass to death with it.
(laughing)
That's the only way
you're gonna keep a job.
- Make a choice.
- (phone beeps)
Nusbaum (on phone): Lentworth.
- Step into my office, please.
- Ooh, too late.
(Marcus laughing)
I think my old boss
is still at Fishsticks.
- I can still make fish.
- Good luck.
(sighs)
- (phone rings)
- Woman (on phone): Dr. Frohm. Line 1.
Frohm:
Hey, Mr. Corn to Sean Penis.- Hello?
- It's Dr. Frohm.
- Get your ass down to R and D right now.
- (hangs up)
Desmond:
How to survivea day at Ammotech.
One. Always have a clipboard in hand.
The busier you look, the
more invisible you become.
- Hey, Des, uh...
- Step two.
If you get cornered, know the lingo.
Desmond!
We got a problem with our
purchase orders over in R and D.
I can totally get you
those CPCs. Just draft an RFP
and we can reconvene
AEOD for some THC. Cool?
Sure.
THC?
All right, let's start
pissing brain juice.
Sloganball time. Maxwell.
- The M26 Mega
- Taser.
50,000 volts of stopping power.
Nice slogan. Sloganize me, Bertrand.
Uh, M26. It will zap until you crap.
- Man 1:
Yeah.- Man 2:
Hear! Hear!Desmond:
Three. Whenothers try to pull you in,
do not give them anything useful
or they'll expect it every time.
Desmond!
Sloganize me.
Uh, sure.
(inhales sharply)
The M26 Mega-Taser.
A lot more gentle than a Glock.
- Woman:
I don't...- Man:
Yes.- It's kinda medium.
- Man:
Good try, man.Not the best idea I've
ever heard, but okay.
- Man:
Go back to the mailroom, you loser.- (groans)
- It's a bad idea.
- Bob:
Unless you want me to hire this moron,start coming up with real ideas.
Desmond:
Four.Remember, the higher the office,
the bigger the douchebag.
(elevator bell dings)
Take the sales dudes for example.
- The V
- 22 will turn that target into toothpaste.
Very good choice, my friend. See you soon.
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