Office Space Page #2

He mimics a machine gun. Brian, a waiter, does it too, in Peter's face.

BRIAN:

(LAUGHS)

SO CAN I GET YOU GENTLEMEN SOMETHING MORE TO DRINK? OR MAYBE SOMETHING

TO NIBBLE ON? SOME PIZZA SHOOTERS, SHRIMP POPPERS, OR EXTREME FAJITAS.

PETER:

Just coffee.

BRIAN:

Oh. Sounds like a case of the Mondays.

He goes to take some more orders.

PETER:

What if we're still doing this when we're 50?

SAMIR:

It could be nice to have that kind of job security.

PETER:

Lumbergh's gonna have me work on Saturday, I, I can tell already. I'm

doing it because, because, uh, I'm a big p*ssy. Which is why I work at

Initech to begin with.

MICHAEL:

Uh, I work at Initech and I don't consider myself a p*ssy, ok?

SAMIR:

Yes, I am also not a p*ssy.

MICHAEL:

I'm gonna find out the hard way that I'm not a p*ssy if they don't

start treating us software people better.

SAMIR:

That's right.

MICHAEL:

They don't understand. I could come up with a program that could rip

that place off big time…big time.

PETER:

Yeah.

Cut to Joanna, a pretty waitress.

Cut back to the guys.

PETER:

Oh, there she is.

SAMIR:

Peter, you, you always talk about this girl. If you're so obsessed with

her, why don't you just ask her out?

PETER:

Because I'm just another a**hole customer. You can't just walk up to a

waitress and ask her out.

(cut to Joanna, and back to them)

Plus, I'm still trying to work it out with Anne. Oh, that reminds me.

I'm not going to be able to play poker with you guys on Friday.

MICHAEL:

Why not?

PETER:

Uh, I have to see this occupational hypnotherapist with Anne.

MICHAEL:

Dude! An occupational hypnotherapist?!

PETER:

Anne wants me to go. She thinks it might help. Y'know, sometimes I just

think, I keep thinking that she's cheating on me.

MICHAEL:

Yeah. I know what you mean.

SAMIR:

Yeah.

PETER:

What is that supposed to mean?

MICHAEL:

Nothing. Why don't you just tell Anne you're not into hypnosis and you

want to play poker with us?

PETER:

Ah, I can't do that. She might get all pissed off at me. Besides, I

think the guy might be able to help. He did help Anne lose weight.

SAMIR:

Peter, she's anorexic.

PETER:

Yeah, I know. The guy's really good.

MICHAEL:

An occupational hypnotherapist isn't going to help you solve any of

your problems. And speaking of problems, what's this I hear about you

having problems with your TPS reports?

SAMIR:

Yeah. Didn't you get that memo?

Peter sighs.

[Scene Outside Initech. Tom, another employee, runs across the street,

towards Samir, Peter and Michael.]

TOM:

Hey! Hey, guys! Samir!!

SAMIR:

Is that Tom Smykowski?

PETER:

What's he doing?

MICHAEL:

Oh, probably working on another heart attack.

TOM:

Have you guys see this?

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