O. Henry's Full House Page #2

- He- He hasn't any money.

- After eating everything on the menu too.

- Is this true?

- They neglected to add...

that I also ordered

a dollar cigar.

Although I must say that any resemblance

between it and tobacco is purely coincidental.

- A cop will know what to do with his kind.

- Never mind. Let him go.

- Let him go?

- You heard what I said. It's on the house.

- You stay out of this. Nobody asked your opinion.

- Poor devil's probably starving.

Get him outside as quietly as you can.

I don't want any trouble.

Trouble? You don't want

any trouble?

Listen, you nincompoop.

I don't want any of your charity.

I am a citizen.

I stand on my constitutional rights!

I insist on being arrested.

Do you understand me? Arrested!

- Outside!

- No! You can't do this to me!

Have me arrested, you dogs!

Have me arrested!

- Soapy!

- What happened?

- I've been double-crossed.

- Are you hurt?

- Physically, no.

- Didn't work, eh?

- Due to circumstances beyond my control, no.

However,

I'm not discouraged.

Two battles lost does not mean

that the war is lost.

It only means that some other way than

through the stomach must be thought of.

- Shall we leave this loathsome neighborhood?

- Take this with you!

- Are you hurt?

- No, thank you.

Gosh. Your umbrella.

Are you all right?

I ought to report you

for this banana.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

- What was that?

- Call the police!

- Police!

- Who threw it there?

- I did.

- Which way did he go?

- There! There he goes!

- Hold that man!

- Hey, wait a minute. I did it!

Hey, come backl

l did itl

I did it!

E-Excuse me.

You forgot this.

Good afternoon, my dear.

Aren't you a little lonely

window-shopping all by yourself?

Wouldn't you prefer

to come and play in my backyard?

Sure, I don't mind,

if you buy me a drink.

How's dear cousin Fanny?

L-I'm afraid, my dear,

there's been a mistake.

Mistake?

What kind of mistake?

- I owe you an apology.

- Apology for what?

For allowing you to think that I might buy

you a drink. That's quite impossible.

I haven't got

a dime to my name.

- Hey, what is this? You trying to kid me?

- Not in the least, my dear.

I'm only trying to undo

the wrong I've done you-

A wrong committed, I might add,

for reasons that your young...

and inexperienced mind

couldn't possibly understand.

Since my means are limited,

l can only ask your pardon...

perhaps persuade you to accept,

as a token of my regard...

the last, uh, valuable left to me

from a once formidable estate.

My compliments to a charming

and delightful young lady.

What's going on here?

What's happening?

He called me a lady.

Think of it. Thousands of them swinging

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