Nothing Like The Holidays Page #2

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We're still in discussion about this.

What are we gonna say

to my mom when she's all,

"All my friends have grandchildren.

My mother had 10 grandchildren

when she was my age"?

We'll tell her to adopt an embryo

and have one herself.

- Merry Christmas.

- Feliz Navidad.

Ay, mi nio!

You look so handsome.

- Hello, Sarah.

- Hello.

You went to the bodega

before you came home first?

- Yeah, well...

- What difference does it make?

They're here now.

You're lucky to have ran

into him at the bodega.

He's a little hard to

get ahold of these days.

Mira, she's almost a Puerto Rican.

I'm sorry, can you say that more slowly

and just enunciate a

little more clearly?

Yeah, well, she saying "How are you?"

She says, "How are you?" How are you?

- Oh. Muy bien.

- There you go.

It looks like you've lost

a little bit of weight.

She said that you look great.

Oh. Thank you. I just started Pilates.

Ay, bendito. When am I

gonna have grandchildren?

My mother had 10 at my age.

All of my friends have grandchildren.

I'm going to be the only

Puerto Rican grandmother

who's gonna have to adopt grandchildren.

Anna, leave the children alone.

Do you want to drive

them back to New York?

Thanks, Dad.

Anybody else home yet?

Our little Hollywood movie star

is about to pull up

in her limo any minute.

Merry Christmas!

- Edy:
Oh, it's our little movie star!

- Hi, Dad.

- Stop stop stop.

- Mom, you're like paparazzi.

- Hi, Mom!

- Where's the limo driver?

He had another pickup at the airport.

Hi, Mami. How are you? Where's Jesse?

- Is he here yet?

- Johnny and Ozzy went to pick him up.

Oh God, he'd be safer in Iraq.

Whoa!

Yo, Ozzy!

- My bad, man!

- Come on, bro.

You threw that like Marcia Brady.

Hey, I'm not the one who

wore diapers in Little League.

For your information, Mr. A**hole,

they were disposable underwear. okay?

- I had a bladder problem.

- Yeah, a lot of girls have that problem.

Johnny:
There was an epidemic going on.

There were thousands of

kids having to wear those.

- Epidemic.

- Can we get to the game?

Johnny:
What you think we're doing?

Talking like two old

ladies. Come on, man.

- You swing like one.

- Here comes the heat, baby.

Throw that like a man.

I ain't got all day.

- Oh! Home run!

- Johnny:
Oh!

I could've caught that.

Come on! Catch the

ball, you old ass man!

Oh!

- Come on, man!

- Johnny! Come on!

I threw it right to him.

He could've caught that.

Jesse:
Ozzy!

Yo! Come on, man!

Ozzy, what are you

doing? Throw the ball!

Yo! Freaking freezing out here!

Let's go, papo!

Ozzy!

What are you doing, man?

Give me the ball.

Ozzy. Chill, man.

Don't do nothing stupid.

I can't believe that

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