Nine Months Page #2

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She's attractive.

Very attractive.

She's 25 years old.

Her skin

is like ribbon candy.

Breasts

like sponge cake.

Her calves

are like calzone.

I mean,

highly edible.

Highly edible.

She's crazy

about sex.

This is somebody

to get me over

the rough spots.

Mmm. What do you mean?

What rough spots?

Oh, Christine

left me.

Oh, sh*t.

When?

Oh, uh...

a week ago.

What happened?

Well...

she wanted

a child.

I'm sorry.

Are you O. K?

Yep. Yep.

What an idiot.

Leave that.

Got it.

She said she wanted...

She, uh...

Christine wanted a baby.

She was hungry

for seed,

so I closed

the iron door,

denied her

my essence.

You know,

I'm not ready

to be biologically

extraneous.

She would have

devoured me

from the head down,

chewed up

my manhood,

swallowed my youth,

and gobbled me up

like some

praying mantis.

Not for me.

What do you mean,

praying mantis?

The female mantis,

after she has sex

with her mate,

she eats him.

Oh, yeah.

But Christine

wasn't pregnant

or anything

like that?

No. What do you mean?

Like on the sly?

On the sly,

or, you know,

in the run of things.

On the s... No.

I mean, Christine

has her faults,

but I don't know

who would do that.

That's a knife

in the back.

Yeah.

You know, that's...

No, of course not.

That's

some voodoo woman

who puts pins

in her diaphragm.

Ha ha.

Spooky, Sam.

That's a she-snake.

That's like

the most hateful,

cruel, sneaky,

horrible thing

you can do.

Who would do that?

No! No!

Aah!

Aah!

They eat the father!

They eat the father!

They eat him!

Honey. Honey, what?

Honey, what?

Who eats fathers?

No one.

Sorry. Sorry.

Just a bad,

bad dream.

Silly, silly dream.

O.K.

You worry too much.

Just relax.

Lie down, O.K.

Lie down.

It's O.K., baby.

Whatever happens,

we can work it out.

I know.

I love you.

I've loved you

since the first moment

I saw you.

You're the only one

I want to be the father

of my children,

whether

it's now or later.

O. K?

Oh...

I love it

when you do that.

Do what?

Ha ha ha!

That thing you're doing

with my knee.

That is so good.

Oh, Samuel.

Stop it.

I love it.

Go on.

But, Samuel?

What? Yeah?

I'm not doing anything

with your knee.

Huh?

Aah! What is it?

Aah!

- Aah!

- Aah!

What's the matter?

Come here, kiddo.

Where you been?

Come here, you.

I'm sorry, folks.

Come on. Get away from him.

I'm sorry, folks.

She's going through

a hiding phase.

It's for attention.

Hey, honey,

you'll get it dirty,

and God knows

what's on there.

Hey, honey,

it's the beach people.

Oh, hi.

This is great. Don't worry.

We didn't bring a kite.

How about another one

of them kisses?

What's going on?

We found her.

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