Night at the Museum Page #4

Okay....

Hey, I'm the....

Hi. I'm the new guy

and I'm just locking up, so....

If it's cool with you

I'm just gonna get my paperwork...

...and be out of your hair, okay?

"Double-check your belt.

The monkey probably stole your keys."

Monkey.

Hey. Hey there. Hi.

What's your name? Your name is....

No, no, no. Come back. Come back.

Dewey? Is that your name, Dewey?

No, no, no. What's--? Dewey?

Dexter? Dexter. Dexter, right?

Hey, Dexter,

you wanna give me those keys?

I just want to lock up.

Yes. Oh, good. Come to Papa.

Oh, thank you. Can I have those keys?

Oh, good. What a good boy.

That's okay. Oh, thank you.

Oh, no, no, no. It's okay.

Thank you very, very much.

Bad monkey. Stop that.

That's not right. Are you done?

Do you have an issue with me?

Do you have an issue with me?

Because if I have a problem with somebody,

I don't pee on them, okay?

And also-- Let me tell you something.

These keys?

Hey. Dexter, that's not funny.

Give it back.

Dexter. Give--

Don't. I know what you're thinking.

Don't do it. Not a good idea.

Not-- Dexter, I need those.

Don't encourage him. You think

you're funny for your friends, huh?

You three guys-- What, he's the ringleader,

you're the audience?

Yeah, no. Don't do it, okay?

Lookit-- You!

Oh, this is not happening.

Oh, man.

What are you guys doing?

I can't feel my lip.

Oh, sh*t.

Man.

Hey. Hey.

Hey, stop that.

Hog-tie him, boys.

-Get him, that big old Bocephus of a man.

-Hey, what are you doing?

Cinch him up good.

You ain't so big now, are you?

Hey. Hey, stop that.

Every night, year after year...

...one of you guards

locks us up in these boxes.

Well, I hereby say, sir, enough!

Fire up the iron horse, boys.

-Hey, blondie?

-Name's Jedediah.

All right, Jedediah. Stop the train, please.

-That's a big no-can-do, Cracker Jack.

-What's going on here, huh?

-Somebody's gotta pay.

-Pay for what?

I don't know. Just pay. Now, stop whining

and just take it like a man.

Seriously, stop the train.

-All right, stop the train.

-Thank you.

Now full speed ahead and ram him!

Split his head like a watermelon!

For crying out loud.

All right, that's enough.

We got a breach.

I got him. I got him. I got him, guys.

I got him--

-Oh, my....

-Prepare the catapults.

Octavius, hold on. This ain't your fight.

This here giant's on our land.

Hey, little guy. Jed? Yeah.

Sorry, look. I just-- I'm not a giant.

I'm just an average-sized--

Don't talk down to me.

I'm not a giant, guys. All right?

You guys are really little.

We may be small,

but our hearts are large...

...metaphorically speaking.

Don't take that wrong.

I'm saying you're miniatures.

Silence! The Roman Empire

Rate this script:3.6 / 7 votes