Nick Kroll: Thank You Very Cool Page #2
- Year:
- 2011
- 68 min
- 264 Views
YANEK YAK YAK:
YANEK YAK YOW:
MY FAVORITE PERSON
I SAW THERE:
MY FAVORITE THING
ABOUT THE DMV:
COMFORTABLE FARTING THERE.
WOULD I TREA WITH SUCH DISDAIN.
AND I JUST CROP-DUSTED
I HAD EATEN, LIKE,
AND THEN I HAD, LIKE,
A BUNCH OF SHOTS OF RAIL VODKA.
I CAME HOME:
AND WAS LIKE,
"WHAT'S A NICE MIDNIGHT SNACK?
BRISKET AND YOGURT."
AND I WAKE UP:
LATE THE NEXT MORNING FOR WORK,
GRAB, LIKE, A HANDFUL
OF ALMONDS,
LIKE, "THAT'S BREAKFAST,"
AND THEN, NUT FARTS
ALL DAY LONG.
LIKE,
A LITTLE VIETNAMESE GIRL
LIKE, IF A PHOTOGRAPHER
HAD BEEN THERE,
A PULITZER.
"WELL, I NEVER."
AND I WAS LIKE, "PAY
MY NUT FARTS!"
OKAY.
I LOVE HIP-HOP.
I LOVE, LIKE,
MID-'90s HIP-HOP,
RIGHT?
- WHOO!
FOR WHITE PEOPLE!
DRIVES ME CRAZY:
AND WE NEVER FIGURED OU WHO DID IT.
NOT FUNNY...
YET.
JUST GIVE IT,
LIKE, 30 SECONDS.
AND WE NEVER FIGURED OU WHO DID IT.
AND I'M LIKE,
YOU KNOW WHAT,
WE'VE BEEN GOING AT I THE WRONG WAY.
LIKE, WHO STOOD TO PROFI THE MOST FROM THEIR DEATHS?
AND THAT'S WHEN I REALIZE
PORTRAIT ARTISTS.
IF THE HUGE:
DENIM JACKET INDUSTRY
HAD SOMETHING:
- CLEAR A PATH!
YOU OKAY?
- ACTUALLY, UH,
WE DON'T SERVE
ANYMORE ALCOHOL.
- OH, CRAP.
DICK CHENEY?
- TOPICAL.
BOTTLE OF VODKA, PLEASE.
ABOUT ALCOHOL.
WE GOT WASTED:
WE WENT TO.
WEBSTER WAS A SHOW
WHO'S OWNED BY
TWO REGULAR-SIZE WHITE PEOPLE.
- HE WASN'T OWNED,
- WHOA!
- 'SCUSE ME.
TELL HIM, GIL.
FOR THREE MONTHS.
- A JUDGE HAD TO GET INVOLVED.
- SO...
- LOOK, YOU GUYS, I'M SORRY
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"Nick Kroll: Thank You Very Cool" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/nick_kroll:_thank_you_very_cool_14750>.
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