Next Stop, Greenwich Village Page #2

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to meet Bernstein.

- Bernstein?

- Yeah, his first name is Bernstein.

His real name

is Bernstein Chandler.

His mother's a cleaning lady.

She worked 30 years

for a Jewish family named Bernstein.

She named him after them.

- Hi.

- Hello, Larry, darling.

- And you must be Sarah.

- How did you know?

My dear,

I am a friend of Connie's...

and you are

a ravishing Semitic beauty.

So are you, kiddo.

Larry, Sarah,

I'd like you to meet Sven.

- How do you do?

- [Foreign Language]

- I beg your pardon?

- [Laughs] He's Norwegian.

Doesn't speak

a word of English.

Isn't he beautiful?

I met him on the subway this morning,

and I think I'm in love...

but I don't know

how to tell him.

Does anyone know how

to say "I love you'"in Norwegian?

Get a poem

for a loved one.

- They're only 25 cents.

- I'm broke, Jake.

- They're only 25 cents.

- All right. Wait a second.

"In the winter,

I'm a Buddhist.

In the summer, I'm a nudist."

They're only 25 cents.

Anybody else want one?

- Marvelous.

- Ah.

- Beautiful. Beautiful.

- Thank you.

- Thank you, Jake.

- Read it to your loved ones.

- Here you go, loved one.

- [Norwegian]

What do you wanna be

when you grow up?

- I forget.

- I wanna be a star.

I wanna go to Mexico.

I never wanted to be a cop

or a fireman or a pilot.

For a brief time there,

I wanted to be a war hero.

But I always wanted to be a star.

I used to lay in the bathtub

dreaming of me as...

Robin Hood or Louis Pasteur.

[Laughs]

I'm bored. There's nothing happening

in New York.

- What, are you depressed?

- Eh...

I wish I was.

Nah, l... I just feel weird.

Let's get married.

Maybe I should go to an analyst.

- You're better off in Mexico.

- Maybe I should go to a Mexican analyst.

[Spanish Accent] So tell me, my dear,

what seems to be the trouble?

I wanna be... Miss Subways.

[Larry]

You're a very sick girl.

Good night, Larry.

- One minute.

- What?

You're a mess.

[Chuckles]

[Laughs]

You know what?

Larry, come in.

Put a rubber on.

- I didn't bring anything.

- Schmuck!

- Shh!

- [Whispers] Schmuck!

This proves I don't love you

for just your body.

I'll call you tomorrow.

- What if your father wakes up?

- My father sleeps like a dead man.

My mother's probably

watching us right this second.

I'll pull out

before I come, okay?

I love you, Sarah.

To be or not to be...

that is the question.

Whether 'tis nobler

in the mind...

to suffer the slings and arrows

of outrageous fortune...

or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

and by opposing, end them.

To die,

to sleep no more...

and by a sleep to say

we end the heartache...

and the thousand natural shocks

that flesh is heir to.

[Imitating Marlon Brando]

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