New Kids Nitro

---

Excuse me, excuse me, sorry.

These are our seats, a**hole.

- I don't think so. Look.

Awesome!

New Kids Nitro.

Yeah, dude!

Yay.

Dude, check this out.

Where'd you get that?

- Where did I get that?

Stole it from the cops.

Yeah, right.

I've seen this one.

With the gun.

That sketch

on Comedy Central.

New Kids is old. Only the first season

was sweet, when you were still with Flabber.

Is entertaining but you keep doing

the same thing over and over.

What happened to you?

You're f***ing boring.

Of course, there it is: The car accident.

Original.

Sorry.

- I could have come up with that.

You don't even speak the Brabant dialect.

You're actors. Is bullshit.

And a sequel? I won't spend a dime

on another boring movie...

...with a bad storyline

and the usual shitty New Kids jokes.

I'll look for a cam version

on the internet...

I've had it.

I'm going to get my Manta back.

Hey homo, you two want

to get a room or what?

P*ssy.

Floor it!

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you for watching.

A rare and mysterious comet

has hit Friesland.

Our new reporter Peter Vernhout

reports live from the scene.

Hi Peter, nice to have you with us.

Can you describe the situation?

Ladies, is great to be part of the team.

I'm in Friesland with farmer Feike

We were told he has all the answers.

Farmer Feike, whas the situation?

F***ing foreigners.

Hey dad, someone spray painted your place.

Who did that, dude?

Bunch of homos from Schijndel, I guess.

- Really?

Damn c*nts.

We'll have five Grizzly, a nugget,

long wiener, three Bounty's...

...a Ricky Martin, two Knoepert.

Have you lost it or something?

How are you going to pay for it?

Dude, we have to get to the game.

We'll just pay next time.

Yeah, right.

You also said that you would

clean the house. Also didn't happen.

Dude.

Ready.

- Why don't you hand it to me?

Come and get it, lazy c*nt.

Dude.

- What?

Watch the paint, c*nt.

See? I can't get out.

- For Chriss sake!

You're always giving me sh*t.

Can't you see that I'm stuck here?

Ref!

- Maaskantje!

Kick him!

Hey Barrie...

...give me a dime bag, dude.

Kick him in the shins!

Your mother is a whore!

Get him, dude!

Heigh ho, Homos from Schijndel.

- Homos.

Hey Maaskantje, kiddy AIDS.

Kiddy AIDS!

Shitkantje.

Is Dave. He's back.

They say he went crazy after the accident,

with that garbage truck.

Totally cuckoo.

Are you looking at me, dude?

- Shut the f*** up, c*nt.

Anyone from Schijndel is a homo.

I don't have to tell you that.

Go back to your f***ing town

and take your homo team with you.

You mean your homo team, dude?

Just look at them.

Just look at those fags run.

They don't have balls.

Balls?

Your mother sucked my balls last night.

What did you say about our mother?

- Filthy whore.

You're lucky I'm on probation,

or you'd be swallowing your teeth.

Boohoo!

Peter, lemonade!

Ries.

- What?

Drink out of a glass, for Chriss sake.

I didn't raise you like that.

Sorry.

Where are the guys?

Smile for the camera, kids.

That beer is nice and cold.

- Isn't it?

Schultenbru!

Schultenbru das ist mein bier!

Schultenbru we drink with cheer!

Are you OK?

- No, son.

Every night I take those f***ing pills and

every week those f***ing hospital visits.

I've had enough, you know.

- I get it.

First those miscarriages, then problems

with your taxes and now this.

Hey, mom.

I've changed, you know.

I'm staying out of trouble.

With the law, you know.

I can't afford go to jail.

I want to take care of you.

Mom, I'll always be there for you,

you know that.

Oh honey, of course I know that.

Now, did you take those goddamn pills yet?

Goddammit, f***, I forgot.

What would I do without you?

Hey, enjoying yourself?

Is from that filthy skank.

You know her, don't you? Manuela?

That skank has been around,

you know.

STD.

STD.

A rash.

It itches like crazy.

And the chlorine in the pool

makes it worse. Itching.

So where's she now?

- Dead.

She got hit by a car.

- Goddammit.

Thas an awful way to go, isn't it?

That seems to be happening more and more.

In this neighborhood. People getting hit.

That never used to happen before,

or did it?

Hey Barrie, what are you doing, dude?

Oh, yes. He's earned it. Five euros.

Ronnie!

Ronnie!

There you go.

- An album.

There he is.

World-famous super star.

Thas right, dearest neighbor. Number one.

- And he didn't let it get to his head.

Guys, if you need something,

Ronnie will take care of you.

Did you just throw fireworks

inside my home?

No.

Stupid c*nt!

- Sorry.

Need a new oxygen tank, Corrie?

- Better make that two.

Hey, who are you?

Deborah.

Why are you staring at my broad?

- So what?

Ugly mushroom head!

With your homo car.

Fine, dude.

Rikkert?

Yo, I'm here!

Look at my face, dude.

All red.

And my Manta is totally wrecked.

I think the ignition did it.

That f***ing homo from Schijndel!

Mr Biemans.

This is the lotion you asked for,

for your penis.

Apply it to the festering sores

And also apply it to the red spots

around the anus.

Thanks.

Since the meteorite hit...

...three cows have been producing

gigantic amounts of milk.

There's so much of it, they're handing out

free milk in Friesland.

Farmer Feike, do you think these cows

will eventually stop producing milk?

I do know that one cow has produced

enough milk for the whole province.

And Sietske and Aafke

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes