Nerdland Page #2

played by you, who... Spoiler alert.

- Falls in love with the alien he's chasing.

- Time's up.

- Sweat outside, please.

- Yes.

Brett, I'm not only a reporter,

I'm also a fellow actor.

There's a part in the script.

It's the investigator's skeptical sidekick.

These headshots will

give you an idea of my range.

Listen, I have to ask...

Ooh. I'll get those. Oh.

[WOMEN LAUGH]

[FARTS]

[ALL LAUGHING]

[CAMERAS CLICKING]

Thank you, Brett. My number's

with the materials. Call anytime.

ELLIOT:
Fired from separate jobs. Both of us.

On the exact same day again?

What are the odds of that

happening three times?

Astronomical. But how could he

have fired you, Elliot?

- I mean, why?

- Who knows?

That sadistic son of a b*tch has had

me in his crosshairs since day one.

It could've been any of a hundred

imagined transgressions...

...in that lunatic's head.

Dude, I've been fired from a video store,

a bowling alley, a comic-book shop.

And an ice-cream parlor.

I'm running out of dream jobs.

Know what would lift our spirits?

Us brightening the girls' day

with a surprise visit.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

# I'm deluxe #

# Baby, I'm printin' them bucks ##

How can this many people be shopping

in the middle of the week?

What are they all,

welfare cheats and screenwriters?

Thought the economy's in the toilet.

Doesn't anyone have a job anymore?

Takers.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

SALLY:
Hey, I heard we might

discontinue the all-cotton knee-high.

- What? Why? No way. Who said?

- Mm-hm. Yeah.

Hey, but just keep it under your hat.

- Okay?

- MAN:
Um, ahem.

Mr. Kelly told me

in the strictest of confidence.

Oh, it's such a sad day.

What are we gonna do tonight?

- Mmm. Is Celebrity Jousting on?

- We're DVR'ing it.

Yes. Good. Okay. All right. What about this?

We make-over our busty lesbian avatars,

go virtual clubbing...

...and watch the pervert feeding-frenzy.

AKA "Wednesday." Genius.

[BOTH LAUGHING THEN GASP]

- Eww.

- Oh, God.

Afternoon, ladies. Heh.

- What's...? What's up? Hi.

- Yeah. Hi.

Hello, Linda.

You...? You girls working hard

or hardly working?

[LAUGHING]

- Oh...

- Excuse me.

Sorry to walk in and interrupt...

...everybody talking to each other,

enjoying... Ahem.

Linda...

...register.

- LINDA:
Ugh.

- Thank you.

I... I didn't see you here yesterday.

That's because I wasn't here.

You know what you should do?

You should make a...

You should Xerox your schedule.

Make a copy of it, and I'll have it

with me so I'll always know...

Ha-ha-ha. No. Mm-mm.

I'm helping customers. I can't

stand around, talking to some random...

Oh, no problem.

I'll just... I'll just do some shopping.

Rate this script:5.0 / 2 votes