Neptune's Daughter Page #2

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Oh, no, no, no!

Mr. Spratt doesn't answer?

Well, never mind, operator.

But Mr. Spratt

will receive our consolation prize...

... of five crisp, new $ 1 bills.

Five dollars? Five dollars.

You'll never know what I went through

to get all those phones.

Night after night in those phone booths.

I paid $30 for that radio,

a fortune in box tops.

Wore out two pair of pants

just sitting.

I lose half of my customers,

and what happens?

They call me and I can't even get in,

all on account of a little key.

A little key no bigger than...

Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, no, no, no.

Hey, mister.

- Where will I find the polo players?

- Oh, they are out on the polo field, I think.

Well, how do I get there?

Well, you go down this road

until you come to a...

No, no, you go down this road

until you come to a tree...

...and then you turn to the...

No, no.

You go down this road until you come...

Gee, I don't think you can get there

from here.

Well, aren't there any polo players

around here?

El capitn Jose O'Rourke

is in the tack room, I think.

Well, how do I get to the tack room?

Well, you go down this road

until you come to... No, no, no.

- You go down this road until you come to...

- Oh, here we go again. Never mind.

Great country, South America.

You know, I've always wanted to meet

one of those black-eyed senoritas.

The senoritas right here

look muy bonitas to me.

Yeah, well,

they may look that way to you...

...but whenever I meet them,

they're always facedown on a table.

They only come to me to get them

in shape for some other guy.

- Can you keep a secret?

- Sure.

Well, I wouldn't like this noised around,

but I've never had a girl.

- No.

- See, my mother was very strict.

- Didn't have my first date till I was 24.

- Your mother wouldn't let you go out...

...with members of the opposite sex?

- Yeah, but she wouldn't tell me...

...which ones was the opposite sex.

- I'll bet you've had plenty of girls.

- Too many.

Believe me, horses are more dependable.

Of course, one cannot

make love to a horse.

No, unless one happens

to be another horse.

Of course,

I don't have much choice myself.

You see, women don't like me,

and, well, I don't like horses, so...

Well, amigo,

maybe your approach is wrong.

Now, what is the first thing you do

when you get a woman in your arms?

Well, I give her a salt rub.

Oh, no, no, I'm talking about love.

The first thing you do is kiss her.

Oh, no, I couldn't do that.

Oh, don't tell me

you have never kissed a woman.

Well, have you ever held a woman

in your arms?

Have you ever held a woman's hand?

Well, have you ever...?

Oh, amigo, you are in bad shape,

aren't you?

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