Napoleon Dynamite Page #2

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Bow to your sensei.

Bow to your sensei!

Okay.

Now, I'm gonna give you

one chance.

One chance, people.

Give me your best shot.

All right.

That was pretty good. Okay.

Now, watch this, everybody.

Grab my arm.

The other arm.

My other arm.

Now watch this. I'm just gonna break

the wrist and walk away.

Break the wrist, walk away.

- Geez!

- Okay.

It's just that simple.

Now, I want you to kick me.

Come on. Kick me.

Okay, do it again.

Do it again.

- Ouch.

- Okay. You'll block it every time.

Have a seat.

Now, in addition to

what you just saw...

if you study with my eight-week program,

you're gonna learn these things.

First off...

Rex Kwon Do,

we use the buddy system.

No more flyin' solo. You need somebody

watching your back at all times!

Second off, you're gonna learn

to discipline your image.

Do you think I got

where I am today...

because I dress like

Peter Pan here?

Take a look at what

I'm wearing, people.

Do you think anybody wants

a roundhouse kick to the face...

while I'm wearin'

these bad boys?

Forget about it.

Last off...

my students will learn

about self-respect.

Do you think anybody thinks I'm a failure

because I go home to Starla at night?

Forget about it!

Now, for only $300,

you can sign up right now...

for my eight-week program.

Well, that place

was a rip-off.

Hey, Lyle.

[Moos]

[Moos]

Nothin' on here works smooth.

- [Gunshot]

- [Screaming]

## [Piano]

## [Soft Rock]

## [Continues]

## [Ends]

[Chattering]

So me and you are pretty much

friends by now, right?

Yes.

So, you got my back

and everything?

What?

- Never mind.

- [Chattering]

- Have you heard about the dance?

- Yes.

Have you met anyone to ask yet?

No. But I probably will

after school.

Who you gonna ask?

That girl over there.

She braided my hair one time--

Summer Wheatly? How the heck

are you gonna do that?

Build her a cake

or something.

Yeah, my old girlfriend

from Oklahoma...

was gonna fly out here

for the dance...

but she couldn't 'cause she's doing

some modeling right now.

Is she hot?

See for yourself.

Wow.

Yeah, I took her to the mall to get

some glamour shots for her birthday one year.

- I like her bangs.

- Me too.

[Chattering]

How long did it take you

to grow that mustache?

A couple of days.

I wish I could grow one.

Are you gonna eat your Tots?

No.

Can I have 'em?

You see that girl

over there?

She came over to my house

the other day.

- Why?

- I don't know...

but she left all this crap

on my porch.

She's pretty good-looking.

Do you dare me

to go talk to her?

Sure.

I see you're drinking one-percent.

Is that 'cause you think you're fat?

'Cause you're not. You could be

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