My Year Without Sex Page #3

One... two...

Don't worry about it.

Natalie, I thought it was you.

I love your hair.

I can't believe how different you look.

Who did it?

No one.

What do you mean?

Aren't you telling?

Is it a secret, special hairdresser?

It's a wig.

Oh, that's brilliant. I love it.

Why are you wearing a wig?

Is it alopecia from stress?

Cancer?

She had an operation on her brain.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Margaret!

Isn't it great to see some new faces.

It's just getting bigger and bigger.

Nicotine anyone?

Giving up smoking.

Tried everything.

Hypnotherapy, acupuncture, knitting,

not drinking, drinking more.

Thanks for the class.

I feel fantastic.

Such a great communal energy.

It's really wonderful.

I don't know.

My God.

I didn't think there'd be people

that actually needed rehab,

just a bit of stress relief.

...functional systems.

One:
cognition,

which is the information-handling

aspect of behaviour...

Two:
emotionality,

which concerns feelings and motivation.

And three:
executive functions,

which have to do

with how behaviour is expressed.

Damage to the brain...

I just thought I heard Ruby.

You're still beautiful to me.

Jesus.

What are the poor people

doing tonight?

Well, hey,

not making the same choices we do.

Isn't all that property

and stock market stuff

about to crash anyway?

What people believe is the reality.

You don't even have to believe it yourself.

If they believe

it's going to crash, it crashes.

But then,

the really clever people start buying.

Survival of the fittest.

Now, are you allowed?

Oh, I don't know.

As long as it doesn't make me sneeze.

Or constipated.

Or give me an orgasm.

It's very good champagne.

Ruby has been on a bus before,

hasn't she, Mum?

I have not.

Yes, you have.

Remember when we had

to get the car serviced

and Dad couldn't find his keys?

I wasn't born yet.

Yes, you were.

Mum had you in that little carry thing.

Can we not argue about it now.

Thank you.

Grace said there was no Santa.

Well, who brings

all the presents then?

Her mum.

As if.

No Mum, like this. In there.

How does one man

get around the whole world in one night?

Well,

it's pretty hard for the Easter bunny,

you know, to deliver all those eggs.

Or for the tooth fairy.

Or for Jesus to walk on water.

Is that what He's famous for?

Yeah, and that

He was born on Christmas day.

Roboreptile?

Wow! Mum!

Mum, I want this for Christmas!

You've already got one of those,

haven't you?

But this is version four.

Mum, can I have this for Christmas?

No, you'll just have to wait

and see what Santa brings.

I haven't got anything for Dad.

Dad likes fruit.

Aren't they plastic?

Plastic?

Heather? We're ready for you now,

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