My Sister Eileen Page #2

There are eight million people in New York,

and half of them are men.

One of them is bound to be

the right boy for you.

Yeah, and I wonder

where the poor devil is tonight.

One, two...

- Im gonna take a shower.

- Okay.

Five, six, seven.

One, two...

The heck with it. Let it spread.

When I started shedding my avoirdupois

I thought

it would get me somewhere with the boys

I went to a gym and got myself slim

I went on long hikes, I wore out three bikes

And from those masseurs

What beatings I took

Yet nobody said

How lovely you look

- Whatd you say, Ruth?

- I said, Let it spread.

What good

does it do me to slenderise?

Who needs this reducing routine?

Slender or stout

I am a washout

As soon as they see Eileen

I long for a young man with tender eyes

But my competitions too keen

My name is mud

Im a real dud

As soon as they see Eileen

But shes an angel

As well as a cutie

Her kind of beauty is rare

Still I always have found

That when she is around

Nobody knows that Im there

I wish I could dream

And philosophise

With someone who knows what I mean

But what is the use?

Im a gone goose

As soon as they see Eileen

Im over 20 with plenty of knowledge

I earned my college degree

But Im frankly annoyed

Tell me, Doctor Freud

What is the matter with me?

Hi.

Mommy!

Some night

Maybe Ill see the starry skies

With someone who isnt too green

But with all my desire, Im a flat tyre

I have the appeal

Of a fifth wheel

Im just out of luck

Im a dead duck

As soon as they see

Eileen

- Ruth?

- Yeah?

Ruth, where are you?

What are you doing out there?

Just getting a breath of fresh air,

frightening little children.

- What?

- Nothing.

I was hoping wed get

whats-his-name to fix that shower.

- It just dribbles.

- Yeah, I noticed.

- Its as hot outside as it is in here.

- Yeah. Dont forget to lock the door.

Yeah.

Im sorry.

I didnt think

you girls would go to bed this early.

- Thats beside the point. Who are you?

- I live upstairs. My names Ted Loomis.

- You can just call me Wreck.

- Wreck?

Thats what they used to call me

at Georgia Tech.

Id have made all-American,

only I was expelled.

Thats very interesting.

But dont you think

its about time you were rambling along?

Yeah. If theres anything I can do

for you girls, you just whistle.

Well do that.

By the way, I was just wondering,

are you girls going to be home tomorrow?

- No. Well be out looking for work.

- Thats great.

I always do the laundry down here

on Thursday.

Laundry?

Helens a switchboard operator.

She works nights.

I dont like to disturb her during the day.

- Helen?

- Yeah.

Were engaged.

I dont want you to get the wrong idea.

Its just that we cant afford to get married...

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