My One And Only Page #2

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I'm sorry, Mrs. Devereaux, but your boys

don't attend this school anymore.

Of course they don't.

[Chuckles]

I'm sorry, Mr. Connors.

I'm just very upset.

- They go to...

- Radford.

Radford. Of course.

They go to Radford.

Where is Radford?

[Narrating] My brother Robbie was playing

Lady Macbeth in the Scottish play.

It is so nice to see that

there are still some gentlemen left.

Thank you.

[Man]

He was playing Lady Macbeth?

In Shakespeare's time,

all the women's roles were played by men.

Right. I knew that.

That's all the cash there is in here,

Mrs. Devereaux.

- And all the jewelry.

- Of course.

What's in that cloth there?

- Oh.

- I'll take that too.

Will that be all, Mrs. Devereaux?

That will be all. Thank you.

George, darling.

I want you to take this money

and go and buy us an automobile.

A car? Why? Where's Dad?

First things first.

We need a car.

- Well, what kind of car?

- What kind would you like?

- I don't want a car.

- A Jaguar.

Admirable taste as always, darling.

But we need something more practical.

- A Chevy?

- Perhaps not that practical.

So here I am,

and that's the car I want.

It's not as easy as that, son.

- Is there a problem, George?

- Have a seat, Mrs. Devereaux.

Well, thank you, Fred.

- May I call you Fred?

- By all means.

Well, how much is the car we want?

It's, uh, 3,500, ma'am.

- Give it to the nice man, George.

- That's not how you do it, Mom.

- That's not how you do what?

- Your son means that...

you offer me less than that,

and then we bargain.

All right. $1,000.

- [Chuckling]

- This is so much fun.

What?

It's a little low, Mom.

- Offer me, say, 2,500.

- All right, then.

- No.

- What do you mean, no?

You just said, "Offer me 2,500."

I can let you have it for 33, Mrs. Devereaux,

but that's as low as I can go.

faster than a cat in a rainstorm.

- Huh?

- [George] What about Dad?

What does he have to say about all this?

Your father has betrayed us,

and I never wanna hear his name again.

What about marrying my father again?

Once was an adventure.

Twice would be a perversion.

Look, you can't just take a kid

away from his father like this.

Ask any psychiatrist.

A boy needs his father's influence.

- That is what the telephone is for.

- I'm not going.

- Well, who's gonna drive the car?

- Robbie can drive.

Robbie doesn't have

the personality for driving.

- I'm too sensitive.

- You're too full of sh*t is what you are.

- George!

- Then you drive it.

It would not be appropriate

for me to drive it.

It's 1953, Mom.

Women vote now.

They smoke. They even

go to the bathroom by themselves.

You're becoming very crude, darling.

Your father's influence, no doubt.

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