My Last 5 Girlfriends

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Had heavenly forces been subtly

shifting our movements

so that we would one day meet

on the Paris to London shuttle?

Or was it just down to chance?

- Johnny?

- Thanks, Duncan.

OK. Well, between Charles De Gaulle

and Heathrow Airport,

there are two national airlines.

And they were running that morning

six flights.

So the odds:
one in six.

I'd actually planned to get

the 10.30 Air France flight.

But somehow, a bottle

of shampoo leaked in my bag,

wasting a valuable ten minutes.

By the time the hotel clerk

had produced my bill,

cleared my credit card and

I found a taxi, it was already 9. 15.

Then because of some ridiculous

roadworks on the Champs-lyses,

by the time I got to the airport,

my flight had finished boarding.

I couldn't be bothered waiting for the

next Air France, so I got the next BA.

- Would you like some lunch, madam?

- Yes, thank you.

- And you, sir?

- No. I don't...

- We have sandwiches if you'd like.

- I'm not really...

Go on. Take them.

I'll eat them. I'm starving.

- Thank you. Thanks.

- Thank you.

- Are you sure I'm not depriving you?

- No. Absolutely not.

Thank you.

- I love airline food.

- Really? You must be the only one.

I don't know, it sort of...

It still seems like a treat somehow.

My mum used to have

one of these trays at home,

and anything I wouldn't eat,

she'd put in it

and pretend we were going on holiday.

- Did it work?

- Yeah. Every time.

It's kind of...

It's a bit silly, really.

No. Not really.

Not as silly as collecting sick bags.

Collecting what?

- No, it's nothing.

- No, do you collect sick bags?

Not anymore.

So how many have you got?

About a hundred?

Blimey! You must have travelled a lot!

It was my dad, mainly.

He'd collect them for me.

They were sort of like postcards.

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