My Friend Irma Page #3

that deform me?

- Cheeta, listen. Where do you begin?

- I'm in there somewhere.

Squeeze the oranges before we get fired.

All right, I'll do it.

But you be careful how you talk to me.

- Remember, I haven't been too well.

- You're just a hypochondriac.

- What's the matter with you?

- You said a dirty word.

Now, look here, Seymour...

The least you could do

is show me some sympathy, Steve.

When you were sick, I was very considerate.

Remember when the doctor gave you

only 30 days to live?

- Yes.

- Didn't I go out and get you a calendar?

Look, I don't want to argue with you.

We're making $35 a week and it's steady.

We'll keep it that way.

You squeeze the oranges back here,

and I'll sell them out there, okay?

Okay.

Here's to love

Here's to love

Here's to all that love can stand for

It's a wishful wonderland for just you

Here's to love

Love that love

That without it

It's true

It's the feeling lovers swear by

Better look out below

Whereby

Hate to see you go

And lately I kind of sigh

As I see you rolling by

Yes, it's love that's growing

Yes, it's love

It's showing

Here's to love

Here's to life with you

Gee, you have a wonderful voice.

- Are you kidding?

- Friend, did you ever sing professionally?

Yeah, I'm a great big opera singer.

I squeeze oranges for a hobby.

- Want to hear something from an opera?

- Oh, yes, will you sing...

Laugh, Clown, Laugh

from the opera Parcheesi?

- Please, Chicken.

- I like his voice, Al.

- I like it, too, but no one else does.

- Everybody should.

If Irma likes you, you're in.

Because Irma is the average public.

She's got the common touch.

Common? Oh, Al.

- Touchy dame.

- What's the matter with her?

- She's nuts about me. But it bothers me.

- Why?

Don't know if she loves me or my money.

That's one thing

I don't have to worry about.

Nobody's killing themselves

over a $35-a-week orange-juice salesman.

- Why must you be one?

- What do you mean?

Don't like to waste words, friend,

so I'll get right to the point.

My boy, this is the luckiest day of your life.

- Are you in show business?

- Indirectly, son.

For the past five years,

I'm what is technically known as retired.

- Collect an annuity every week.

- Every week?

Like clockwork. So, naturally,

with all this time on my hands...

- I have developed a hobby.

- Well, what's that?

Developing talent,

and helping them to the top.

Friend, under my auspices,

there is no telling where you can go.

Why, I can have people standing in line

to hear your golden voice.

I doubt it.

Friend, believe me, when it comes

to standing in line, I am an authority.

Now, time is money.

I'm a busy man, so will not haggle.

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