My Friend Irma Page #2

Well, we've been engaged for five years and

we're not getting any closer to that day...

when we carry each other

across the threshold.

Gee, Al, I'm not getting any younger,

and, after all...

when I get married and have children...

I don't want them to be older than I am.

Look, Chicken,

I think you're being very impatient.

- AI, but...

- Please.

Every morning when you go to work

you take the bus, right?

- You wait 15 minutes for that bus, right?

- Right.

Fifteen minutes a day, twice a day,

six times a week...

30 times a month, 12 times a year.

Do you realize how much of your life

is spent waiting for that crummy bus?

- What about it, Al?

- Well, I'm your fianc.

I think I deserve the same consideration

as a bus.

Oh, Al, I'm sorry I questioned you.

When you explain, it all seems so right.

Sure. It's that Jane

who's poisoning your mind against me.

Oh, well, you know Jane.

She wants to marry a man with money.

But I don't think money is important.

Look, I have you, and you have me,

and we both have nothing.

Come on, will buy you a drink.

- What'll it be?

- One large one. Chicken, you want one?

Yes, please, Al.

A large one for the lady, small one for me.

Want to lose weight.

Got you. What'd you like to have,

the California type or the Florida type?

Well, I'd like to have half of each.

You see, I've always wanted to travel.

Please, Chicken.

Just a minute.

Seymour, California needs a transfusion.

- What are you doing back there, sleeping?

- Sleeping? Are you kidding?

I'm standing back here like a horse

working like a dog.

- There are customers out here.

- So what? I'm not on a commission basis.

- Now, wait a minute.

- Don't be a big man with me, Steve.

I'm standing back here in this black hole

taking all the abuse...

while you're out there like a big man,

with a view yet.

Excuse me. A little help problem.

What's the matter with you?

I asked you to squeeze a few oranges

and you blow your top.

Blow my top?

I got an occupational disease.

That cheap boss,

why don't he put in electric squeezers?

- Look what's happening to me?

- So?

So is this something for a young boy

to go through life with, yet?

- Don't exaggerate.

- Exaggerating?

Do you realize

it's very difficult to dance with a girl...

light a cigarette,

and shave with a hand like this?

Stop bellyaching.

You'll get onto the job once you get into it.

That's just the trouble.

- I hate the job.

- You've hated every job we've ever had.

Certainly, because I listen to you.

The last job you made me take,

a flapjack flipper.

It took me six months

to get rid of a swivel wrist.

Let me ask you one thing.

Why do you always have to pick on jobs

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