Mr. Nice Page #2

- Don't blame it all on the world.

I'm not. That's your idea,

to stop smoking. All right?

- Isn't it great?

- At times like this, I could murder a joint.

- You should have some.

- No, come on! Stop!

- All right, OK!

- Oh, no, it's... Listen...

- This is not fair.

- I feel good, I feel good.

How do you afford a place like this,

Graham?

I'm shifting 50 pounds of the finest

Pakistani black every f***ing month.

- F***ing hell.

- F***ing hell!

- Lot of money.

- Lot of money.

Well done. Is it... You know...

It's got to be risky, isn't it?

If you get stopped, you're f***ed.

I've never been stopped.

I've done it hundreds of times.

So you put it in the panels, do you?

The side panels.

We take the f***ing car apart

and we stuff it everywhere we can get it.

F***ing hell, man.

- But you know what, it pays for all this.

- I know, man! Jesus!

- Yeah, man. F***ing hell.

- Beautiful.

- Graham? Gonna have a look upstairs.

- Yeah, yeah, whatever.

All right?

- What's that?

- Go.

- Sorry.

- No, stay.

Go, an ancient Japanese game.

Wanna play?

- Yeah.

- Here, roll me a joint.

We take it in turns placing stones

on the board. Black goes first.

Right. Erm... I put it anywhere, right?

- As long as it's on an intersection.

- OK.

There.

Now, I play here.

- Er... No, thanks.

- It's a great game to play stoned.

- I had to give it up.

- Why?

I'm a teacher.

And what about sex?

I'm married.

You see, in the game of Go,

when a stone has no free space next to it,

it is captured and taken off the board.

Bit like life, really.

You don't look like a teacher.

What do I look like, then?

Like a drug smuggler.

Hmm.

- Hello.

- IIze, it's Mandy. Is Howard there, pIease?

Uh... Mandy. Uhh...

He...He's sleeping.

Graham's disappeared, OK?

I think he's been busted.

Mandy? It's Howard.

- Where is he?

- In Germany. Can you go there?

I can't. I mean...

You're the only straight person

Graham knows. Please.

I've never been out of the country...

I haven't got a passport.

Look, I...I'll call you back, all right?

- I can't go.

- Howard...

What?

I've fallen in love with someone else.

Thank you.

Bitte.

I was just crossing the Swiss-German

border, like I'd done a hundred times before.

You know,

they always just waved me through.

This time, the German Nazis f***ing

pulled me over and took the car apart.

Found 100 pounds of Lebanese black

in the back seat and the panels.

- Probablyjust wanted to smoke it.

- What else would they f***ing do with it?

And we've got a second batch

in a warehouse in Wiesbaden.

It's in a Mercedes. Keys in the station.

I've never driven

on the wrong side of the road.

That's why you're perfect for it. You'll

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