Movie 43 Page #4

GIRL:
Hey, Mrs. Miller!

Extracurricular activities.

DAD:
What do you do?

- I suck.

- What do you suck?

- D*cks.

- Louder!

I suck d*cks! I suck d*cks!

Like you mean it!

I suck d*cks! I suck d*cks!

I suck them all the time!

If you were a superhero,

what would your superpower be?

My superpower would be sucking d*cks!

Dude, you have so much poop

on you right now.

And, of course, the first kiss,

that should be the most

awkward moment in any boy's life.

(SLOW POP MUSIC PLAYS)

Emily and Kara

said we should go all the way.

What do you think?

Um...

- Do you have protection?

- Um...

So, dude.

Don't tell Jeff

or any of those guys, but...

I just wanted to say that...

(SIGHING)

...if I did like guys...

...you'd totally be

the kind of guy that I'd like.

This is weird.

I didn't mean any of that.

Just talking, you know?

- Wow.

- (NERVOUS CHUCKLE)

I don't think I'll ever forget

the first time Kevin told us

that he wished he'd never been born.

He was only 12.

DAD:
Precocious kid.

Studies show that the average child

doesn't express

that kind of self-Ioathing

until they're 1 5.

Yeah, I bet.

(APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS)

Oh, here he comes.

- Hey, honey. Meet the neighbors.

- Hi.

DAD:
Kevin, this is Sean and Clare.

They moved into the house

three doors down.

Oh, the Yeager's old place.

Great, yeah.

I'm Kevin, pleased to meet you.

Welcome to the neighborhood.

- Nice to meet you too.

- Thank you. That's so polite.

I'm heading out. A bunch of us

are gonna meet up at the Green.

- DAD:
Ooh, the Green.

- And, yes, I finished my homework.

And Jen and I are gonna catch a movie

afterwards, so I won't be home until late.

Oh, that's fine.

Just make sure you say hello from us.

Um, Jen, my mom says hi.

- Hello, Jen.

- (HIGH VOICE) Hello, Mrs. Miller.

I'm the pretty girl.

She is.

- DAD:
You guys have fun tonight.

- All right.

- Nice meeting you.

- DAD:
So, who wants cake?

(ROMANTIC INSTRUMENTAL

MUSIC PLAYS)

- Hi.

- There.

- Oh, wow.

- Now it's a picnic.

Would you care

for a chocolate covered strawberry?

Oh, my gosh. Sweetie!

Talk about romantic. This is perfect.

Julie, we've been together for over a year.

- Sixteen months and two weeks.

- (BOTH CHUCKLE)

And, in that time, I've come to realize

that you mean everything to me.

Oh... Doug, you too.

And... there's something I want to ask you.

There's something I'd like to ask you.

Oh, OK. Uh, you go first.

- No, you go first.

- No, you first.

No, you first.

How about we say it

at the same time?

OK.

(TOGETHER) One, two...

Will you poop on me?

What?

Will you poop on me?

(CHUCKLES) What are you?

Wait. What did you say?

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