Motel Hell Page #2

And then you turned your back on

me and found another mother

I'm up to here with

You

Like a saint, I rose and...

Oh, man, this red's too heavy.

We better find a place to crash.

Mike, watch it!

Mike, what's wrong?

Hey, hey! Come on, man!

Hey, hey! What's that?

- What's that smell?

- What's going on?

Traps work out OK?

Yeah.

You know, I'm just

beginning to realize...

how important they are to me.

The bear traps?

How's that, Vincent?

No, no, no.

I mean the traps;

shooting out the tires...

chains stretched

across the highway,

and the way we had you lying

by the side of the road...

next to that old Chevy

we set on fire.

You know what I mean, the traps.

Oh, sure. But how come

they're so important to you?

Well, because they give me

a chance to be creative.

Oh. Sort of artistic?

Yeah.

And that way, the work

we're doing here...

will always be as special

as it is important.

Oh, I almost forgot,

I have a surprise for you.

Oh, goody. I love surprises.

Well...

that healed right nicely.

What?

What's that you say?

Come on, speak up!

You see, when your

vocal chords have been slit...

you've got to answer

real clearly...

if you expect anyone

to understand you.

Oh, no, no, no.

You just haven't got

the hang of it yet.

Now, don't worry, you will.

You'll catch on.

I know you will.

Well, start bringing them in.

Hey, what about my surprise.

You're right. Come over here.

OK.

Guess who?

Well, I give up.

Bob!

Good to see you.

When did you drop in?

Plant 'em.

And you wonder how

I keep my shape.

Ah, let's see what we got here.

Funny-looking critters,

ain't they, Vincent?

Yeah, maybe so.

But you know as well as I do...

it takes all kinds

of critters...

To make Farmer Vincent fritters!

This one.

It's like...

I've never really

tasted ham before.

It's true.

It's just impossible...

to go back to regular

smoked meats...

after you tried Vincent's.

You can't beat the flavor.

No wonder you're famous.

How come I never

heard of you before?

Well, Farmer Vincent's

meats are only distributed...

within a hundred mile radius.

That way, I can keep

the quality high...

and the cost reasonable.

So, how did you get started?

Well, in the old days,

we couldn't afford an icebox.

So Granny used to

smoke everything.

Chickens, rabbits, squirrels...

eels, even frogs.

If it didn't move fast enough...

Granny smoked it.

Well, we had this old dog, see,

and it used to bother Granny...

barking through her naps

and all that.

So one day she asked me

to shush it for her.

I shushed it, all right.

Yeah. He sure did.

He smoked that old dog

just like a hog.

That night Vincent

served it for dinner.

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