Moscow On The Hudson Page #3

Tomorrow is the day.

Think of your family.

Would you like to watch me

take a piss, comrades?

Soon we'll be back in Moscow.

Ladies and gentlemen, good day.

I hope it ain't as bad

as when we had them Chinese acrobats.

Them Italians came one time

and stole half the store.

They weren't Italians,

they were Romanians.

I thought they said they was from Rome.

See the game last night?

Yeah, Magic Johnson was the best guard

I ever saw.

What a pair of hands.

Buon giorno, Lucia, darling.

What a piece of lasagne.

You have only 30 minutes

to shop in Bloomingdale's.

Then we go to the airport.

My God!

What decadence!

Excuse me.

You must be Russian.

Yes, I am with the circus.

We heard you guys were coming today.

Let me tell you something.

I wish for peace among all nations.

I am looking for blue jeans.

We had a nuclear freeze demonstration

this year, and I marched.

"Make love, not war," we say.

Make love, for sure.

I look for blue jeans.

Blue jeans, right. Designer jeans?

Jordache, Calvin Klein?

You go straight back to menswear,

like where that pole is.

I am Russian, not Pole.

Yeah, I know.

Well, anyway, you go straight, okay?

Then you take a left.

You can't miss the Denim Den.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

I hope you have a nice stay in New York.

I go back to Moscow today.

Well, goodbye.

I will do it here.

Everyone watches here.

I don't give a sh*t.

I swear, I'll do it.

Do it! Go. Do!

Leave me alone. Go, do it.

Three items to a dressing room.

Gentlemen, please button your flies.

What are you doing?

No women in the dressing room!

Women don't belong in the dressing room!

They don't stay in the dressing rooms!

They can't be here. What do you mean...

I don't understand.

You're in America, speak English.

Are you feeling well, Anatoly?

You are pale and sweating.

It's nothing. Just a slight cold.

You know, different climate.

Soon you will be back in Moscow,

where the air is always clear.

- I can't do it.

- Good.

I am a bird without wings.

I'm sorry, my friend.

What are you guys doing?

Only one customer to a cubicle.

This ain't Russia.

Excuse me, sir.

Fags everywhere.

- Your wife will love Forbidden Fruit.

- Thank you.

Time to go.

Put Cherkasov and the others on the bus.

I would like to see some Forbidden Fruit.

Great. All right, I'll see you tonight.

Talk to you later.

Fabulous choice, sir.

Are you all right, sir?

Excuse me, sir. Are you all right?

Yes.

I suddenly feel dizzy.

Let's get you some H2O.

- I got a dizzy Russian on my hands.

- Take him home for supper.

- Is there a large gay community in Russia?

- How would I know? I'm not Russian.

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