Monster-in-Law Page #2

- That's why.|- And I'm sorry about before.

I didn't mean|to be eavesdropping.

Well, you're right.|You shouldn't have.

You should have stayed|and talked to me.

Well, your girlfriend|seemed pretty offended.

Oh no, that's...|that's not my girlfriend.

I-I don't have a...|I'm sing...

I don't have|a girlfriend.

What?

Nothing.

Nothing. Um, I'm Charlie.|Charlotte, but Charlie.

Well, I'm... I'm Kevin.

- Nice to meet you.|- Nice to meet you, too.

Uh-oh.

What? What does|"uh-oh" mean?

It looks like someone else|is mowing your lawn, Fiona.

I'm gonna go|destroy these.

Excuse me.|I'll see you guys.

Oh, my shoes|are killing me

which means|they must look fabulous.

Can I get you anything?

One of him on a platter.

Such a waste.

What's a waste?

Oh, you didn't know?

Kevin's gay.

- What?|- Yeah.

That's Kit, the groom.

Or maybe he's the bride.|I can't remember

which one's the top|and which one's the bottom.

Yeah, they're getting married|next Christmas in Maui.

I didn't get that vibe.

Trust me.

Thanks.

Look at|that dude's arms!

I used to have|such good gaydar.

Oh, you're home.|Thank God.

- I'm exhausted.|- What did you do today?

- Hi, it's Charlie. Leave a message.|- Went to the post office.

Uh, hi, Charlie.

- This is Kevin Fields.|- That's him.

I don't know if you remember me|from the party the other night,

but I was just calling,|uh, to see if, um,

maybe... maybe you wanted|to walk my dog.

What? No!

Hang up the phone.

No, actually, you can't,|because I don't have a dog.

So maybe you could|walk me.

Hang it up.

All right, you know,|I'm-I'm gonna go now.

Call me at 555-0118|and ask for Dr. Fields.

Okay, thanks. Bye.

Oh man, that was...|that was horrible.

Yeah, I wouldn't hold your breath|for a callback on that.

Yeah, she'll call me back|if she wants to walk an idiot.

Yeah, I'm not going|to disagree with you.

So takeout|or raid your fridge?

Here we go.

Take it easy, Lilly.

Easy.

Hi.

You never called me back so I figured|I would bring the coffee to you.

Thanks.

Um, look, I think you're|a really nice guy and everything,

but I don't know why|you called me.

- Hmm?|- I'm a woman.

Yeah, I love that fact.

Have you ever been|with a woman?

Excuse me?

I mean, have you only|ever been with men?

Men?|What are you talking...

whoa whoa whoa.|Wait a minute, I'm not gay.

- You're not?|- No.

No, I like women.|Lots of... no, not lots of women,

but you know what I mean.

Why did you think|I was gay?

Awkward.

Okay, I got to go now.

Wait wait.|Wait wait wait.

Okay, I'll prove to you|that I'm not gay.

Let me take you out on Friday night.|We'll watch the playoffs,

I'll order a pizza,|I'll completely ignore you.

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