MoDeRn WaRfArE 3: kItTy StOmPeRs

Synopsis: Soldiers around the world continue trying to prevent Random World War Every Freaking FPS Game Seems To Be About as kitties begin to meow louder than usual in this action thriller-comedy spoof of the masterpiece trilogy.
Year:
2011
30 Views


After the PLANE CRASHES, MAKAROV appears. He KILLS HARKOV and takes PRESIDENT VORSHEVSKY HOSTAGE.

VLADIMIR MAKAROV

Good thing I planned for that plane crash to not horribly kill you! I want the nuclear launch codes!

PRESIDENT VORSHEVSKY

Why are you even bothering with this? When Zakhaev wanted access to our nuclear arsenal, he simply took control of a missile silo. Hell, Captain Price even managed to launch one of our nukes by taking over a nuclear submarine all by himself! And you seem to have an entire f***ing army at your disposal.

VLADIMIR MAKAROV

Half of which I just managed to put on your plane.

(beat)

All the things you just said? Yeah, you really need to start reviewing your government's security policies.

EXT. VILLAGE - SIERRA LEONE

After tracking down a LEAD or whatever, CAPTAIN PRICE, CAPTAIN MACTAVISH and YURI arrive in SIERRA LEONE, where some GENOCIDE is going on for the F*** of it.

CAPTAIN PRICE:

Makarov's got a shipment coming through here. We need to intercept it.

YURI:

But this is only the fourth mission in the game. Am I then correct in assuming that it's not a question of actually intercepting the shipment, but more the measure by which we don't?

CAPTAIN PRICE:

Pretty much. Let's almost get to it!

YURI:

Ah f*** off.

They manage to miss the SHIPMENT by about TWO SECONDS because of a f***ing HYENA. SERIOUSLY.

YURI:

So close.

CAPTAIN PRICE:

That's my line, f***er.

YURI:

F*** your mother.

CAPTAIN PRICE:

I will!

EXT. CANARY WHARF - LONDON

An SAS TEAM has traced the SHIPMENT to LONDON.

SERGEANT BURNS:

I'm another new f***ing player character? How many is that now? Is anybody keeping track?

SERGEANT WALLCROFT

Keep your eyes peeled. We need to stop the truck that's carrying the shipment.

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