Miss You Already Page #3

I mean, how much cancer can you have?

You've had all your check-ups.

- Well, I've been busy.

- Oh, Jesus.

- How could the tumour have gotten so big?

- It's aggressive, like you. Jesus.

- Well, is it contained?

- In my body, yes.

- You should've gone back sooner.

- Yeah, thanks. Hadn't figured that out.

You're right, that was

a really stupid thing to say. I'm sorry.

Is it too late?

To put these in the wash.

- You have to think positively.

- (MILLY) Oh God, if I die...

- If you say that again...

- Well...

Don't say that.

It's all gonna be OK.

I can't believe we're laughing.

I can't believe we're laughing.

(MILLY) I don't want them

to have to go through it.

They won't have to.

They're not going to.

They're gonna watch me go through it

and have all sorts of sh*t to deal

with when they're older.

We're gonna make it

extra wonderful for them.

We'll look after them so much.

You've made them into such wonderful kids.

The lovely nurse puts chemotherapy

into the IV drip.

And the medicine is like

an army of soldiers

and they all march into mummy's body.

(ALL CHANT)

Left right, left right, left right.

Now, chemo soldiers,

they shoot the bad cancer out.

I want chemotherapy!

(MILLY) The soldiers are a bit rubbish

so they also shoot parts of mummy's body

that aren't poorly

and this makes mummy feel ill.

Oh!

And just to be very, very safe

the soldiers might zap out

all of mummy's big hair.

But all this is so mummy will get better.

(ALL) Yay!

And that, my gorgeous family,

is chemotherapy.

Very good, Mummy.

Good plan?

No. You go, I'll be fine.

I've got Jess to order around.

What's new?

I'll get the kids from your mum.

OK, I've got magazines, nail art,

funny animals on YouTube.

Oh! I've got a sexy bed.

Did you bring a vibrator?

- Yes, several.

- Yes!

Jess, this is Nurse Sam.

Nurse Sam, this is Jess,

my elderly companion.

Sam, I want a blue cap.

Just so you know,

with your type of chemo

there's only about a 20% chance

it'll save your hair.

And some find it quite painful.

Worked for me.

- Get me the blue cap.

- She wants the blue cap.

She's getting the blue cap.

(JESS) Wow, that is a big prick.

(SAM) Yeah, I know, bit of a monster.

OK, Milly.

- Oh, it's a beautiful vein.

- Yay, I have beautiful veins.

(JESS) Always thought

you had beautiful veins.

You kind of look like a superhero.

I just can't place which one

and I can't tell if you're good or bad.

It... it... may be Captain America.

May be Aquagirl.

(MILLY) Whichever one it

is lives in an igloo.

- (JESS) Is it cold?

- I have an ice-cream headache,

as though I've eaten the entire shop

out of their ice-lollies.

(JESS) Definitely Captain America.

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