Miss Nobody Page #2

You gonna knock

'em dead or what?

Do I know you

from somewhere?

Charmaine abatemarco,

honeybun.

Seventy-five words

per minute,

coffee always fresh,

And don't you

dare forget me.

Hey, sarah jane!

Don't you dare.

Oh. Uh, you must be

miss mckinney.

Milo beeber.

( sighs )

They didn't

tell you.

Tell me?

St. Louis division

flew me in last Friday.

They didn't tell you.

Oh, a-all I know

is that I applied

For this job a month ago,

and mr. Grabow--

Grabowski's been fired.

Oh.

Promotion's off.

Oh.

Um, I assume

this is yours, yes?

Uh-huh.

And...

Yeah.

I'm being let go?

Oh, no, nothing

like that.

You get to be

my new secretary.

Will that be all, sir?

Um... Coffee.

Coffee?! He actually

said that?

Mm-hmm! Translation--

put up, suck up, or die!

But still, oh!

Ugh!

He's kind of cute.

Charmaine abatemarco!

I'm just saying, you know,

he could be quite a catch.

What?

Sweetie, look.

It wasn't but a minute ago

You were all set

to marry frankie numb-nuts.

Remember him?

You wanted to start

Popping out

little pygmies,

Grow an industrial-sized ass,

and settle down

For a nice long run

as a housefrau?

When that didn't fly,

you set your sights

on the executive suites.

Why? Hey! 'cause you're

a survivor, right?

All I'm selling now

is survive more!

Combine the two

and become mrs. Beeber,

Executive housefrau.

No, uh-uh, no way.

I don't even know

if this beeber guy

is even attracted to me.

Rule of thumb--

if the new boss

Is even

the least bit game,

He starts with

the wandering hand disease.

At first, his wrist

Will accidentally

dust yours.

This usually happens

after lunch--

Like, 3:
00

at the latest.

By Thursday,

he'll find some way

to stroke your cheek.

It's all very subtle

at first.

He'll think it's you,

but it's not.

In a week, if he's

still hot to trot,

He'll chummy up with

an innocent backrub.

Bosses are the easiest

men to screw.

Sarah jane:
Char had a point!

He certainly was touchy.

On the other hand...

I mean, I have been

half-fondled

And sexually harassed.

( gasps )

I needed some advice

From someone

who knew about men.

( chuckles ) as far as

the target gender goes,

This little number?

Guaranteed erection.

Mom, you want me

to wear that?

Oh, listen, doll!

Sex-wise, men are obsessed

with four things.

Two of them,

like cow udders, fit here,

The third is a foul

and disgusting jungle,

And the fourth is

some bizarre fetish having

to do with calf muscles,

Hence my all-purpose

come-f***-me pumps.

Double bueno!

You'll be the ho

I always hoped for.

You know how every girl

has worn that one dress

That was just

an inch too short...

Or maybe four to five inches?

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