Miss March Page #2

Oh, will you stop talking about

your crazy brother? That was a fluke.

My younger sister has sex all the time,

and neither of her babies are crackheads.

Cindi, I can't believe

what I'm hearing right now.

What about the seminar? What about

everything we said to those kids this afternoon?

I don't think that 15-year-old kids

should be having sex.

You have to wait until you find

that special someone.

But, Eugene, you are my special someone.

And if I'm not yours, then I think that we have

a whole other set of problems to worry about.

I'm gonna go to bed.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Cindi, wait.

I'll have sex with you on prom night.

You promise?

I promise I'll have sex

with you on prom night.

I love you, Eugene.

I love you, Cindi.

- Hello?

- Dude!

Five hours till you're chode deep.

Yes, I know that. Thank you.

Are you psyched? Are you psyched?

Yes, I'm very psyched.

- Did you shave your cock yet?

- What?

You gotta shave your cock.

It makes it look bigger.

Really? Wh- I'm not shaving my cock.

You have to. You gonna have shaved balls

and a hairy cock? That's gonna look weird.

I'm not shaving my balls either.

- Oh, my God.

- Tucker, I've got this, okay?

Eugene, no, you don't got this.

Look, man, I've already slept with 12 women.

That's punishable by stoning in some countries.

- That's great, Tucker.

- That is great.

And I've only been having sex

for two years. That's six women a year.

Do you know what that means?

That means in 10 years,

I'll have banged, like, 600 chicks.

Did you get the limo? I'm supposed

to pick Cindi up in half an hour.

Horsedick. MPEG's got it.

He's picking you up.

- Who is Horsedick. MPEG?

- Oh, that's Phil, man. That's his M.C. Name.

- Phil's M.C. Name is Horsedick?

- Dot-MPEG.

Dot-MPEG. That is so ridiculous.

Dude, you are so white.

And what's with this attitude?

This is gonna be the best

night of your life.

Look, I'm not even sure I'm ready to be

doing this. Do you have any helpful advice?

Do you have any tips on how I can make this

a wonderful, romantic night for Cindi...

and everything she wants it to be?

Shave your cock.

Yeah.

Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

Man, I ain't seen this motherf***er in,

like, four-11 years or some sh*t.

I didn't know they let people that

dropped out of high school go to prom.

You're stupid! You're stupid!

No, Crystal's still in high school.

I also didn't know

they let freshmen go to prom.

Well, they're gonna let us in there

when Horsedick. MPEG rolls up.

I'm about to sign me a record deal.

Horsedick's got a song on the Internet!

The Internet. Wow.

You know how many motherfuckers

use the Internet?

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