Million Dollar Arm

1

It's a simple fact

that not everyone is destined

to claim their page in the history books.

But a lot of people

are willing to pay for a piece of it.

Pope, you are about to break

the NFL single-season sack record,

and when you do, you deserve

to cash in, plain and simple.

That's where Seven Figures

Management comes in.

We make sure that when you reach

a career milestone like that,

that you are rewarded

for that achievement,

in short, that you get paid very well.

Now, my question to you, Popo, is...

Will you let me help you do that?

- That was perfect.

- Yeah?

Yes, that was amazing.

He's here, JB.

- What? He's early.

- He's still here.

Okay, time to go. Let's do this.

Knock him dead, partner.

That's where Seven Figures

Management comes in.

We make sure that when you reach

a milestone like that in your career,

that you are rewarded

for that achievement.

So my question to you

is very simple, Popo.

Will you let me help you do that?

Yeah, I will.

Well, that is...

That is good news, Popo.

Why are we wasting time in here?

Let me go get your paperwork started,

and then I'll introduce you

to your new team.

Cool.

Oh. Just one more thing, JB.

Name it.

I'm gonna need a

million-dollar signing bonus.

- What?

- You know, like, a million in cash.

Up front.

Oh... Okay, Popo...

I can't do that.

I mean, that just doesn't happen.

- I mean, no one can do that.

- Procorp can.

Paul Carter, please.

Paul, hey. JB Bernstein.

I'm great. Thank you.

Um...

No, the reason I'm calling is

'cause I wanted to let you know that I

can't get you that check this week.

No. No, no, no.

We still want the office space.

Uh, just a couple more months.

I didn't even know

he was talking to Procorp.

Well, they got to him.

Yeah, you know, what they're

doing is completely unethical, okay?

We've been grooming the guy for six

months. I mean, six months. Come on.

And then, poof, he's gone.

They bought him?

Speak of the devil.

I hate them so much.

We just need another play.

We don't have another play, okay?

They just bought our play.

And we can't compete with them.

They're too big.

You want to go back? Huh?

You wanna work at the Death Star?

No, I don't wanna work at the Death Star.

I hated the Death Star.

I wanna work for us,

I wanna work for you, but, look,

come on, this is not really working.

Yet. It's not working yet.

Come on. May I remind you, please,

that we had some very good clients.

Emmitt Smith,

Barry Sanders, Curtis Martin.

Okay. May I remind you

that they are all retired.

My point is simply that we did it before,

we can do it again.

That's how this works.

We just have to hold it together.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome

the Los Angeles Clippers!

I feel sick. Can we go?

How about that

baseball owner you know?

- What was his name?

- William Chang.

Big money guy out of San Francisco

looking for

investment opportunities in Asia.

Except we don't have anything in Asia.

Maybe we should find something.

Think about Yao Ming.

That dude's worth a hundred million

in Chinese endorsements.

We just need to find our Yao.

Okay. When it comes to China,

we are late to the party. China's tapped.

- Fine, Taiwan.

- Tapped.

- South Korea.

- Tapped.

North Korea.

Great. I'll set up a meeting.

All right. Well, then, this.

What if we go young?

- Mmm-hmm.

- Find some kid, develop the talent.

Get in on the ground floor.

Mmm. Hey, the Red Sox

just signed an 8-year-old.

All right.

Maybe we hang out at maternity wards.

Yeah, last time I did that,

I came home with twins.

Right. Bad idea.

Hey, listen, you are gonna love it

when it happens to you.

You just need to jump on in.

Ah, look at that. Cricket.

- Oh, come on.

- Come on. it relaxes me, all right?

I used to watch this with my dad.

It's a great game.

- It's not a great game.

- It is a great game.

It looks like

an insane asylum was opened up

and all the inmates were

allowed to create a sport.

That is just not true.

Okay? A billion people play this game.

I don't care.

It's because anybody can play it.

There's no discernible rules.

You hit the ball anywhere you want

and it's apparently fair.

And then you run back and forth

and tag each other with bats.

This is nonsense.

Toddlers can play this game.

Okay, are you even listening

to yourself right now?

Do you realize

how stupid you sound?

It is a brilliant game.

And I am in trouble.

You're not driving.

Oh, my wife loves it

when I have to take a cab

home 'cause I'm so intoxicated.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Good night, guys.

- Night.

- Who's that?

- What? She's my tenant.

She lives in

the bungalow out back.

Wow. Backyard hottie.

No. She's not my type.

Oh, really?

Why? Because she's not a model?

Yeah, 'cause she's not a model.

What is wrong with you, okay?

She's cute.

Have you seen her?

She's cute. And what does she do?

I don't know.

She's studying to be a doctor.

Oh, she's studying to be a doctor.

Oh, my God. Ew!

Yeah, stay away from that.

Because she's not a model

and she's smart. That's terrible.

- Maana, bro.

- All right. Get home safe.

We're gonna figure this out.

I don't know how much longer

I can do this, JB.

Look, we said we were gonna give

it two years on our own,

and it's been three now

and we still can't seem

to sign a new client.

Yeah, I know. I'm aware of that.

But, look, we just need one big client...

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