Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates Page #5

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You know what else you can find

on Craigslist?

Mm-hmm.

- Love.

- Mm-mm.

That's right. I said it.

- Love.

- That one seems sweet.

He has a kind soul.

Yeah, and he's also super hot.

Yeah, he's hot as f***ing balls.

But just to repeat,

we're looking for nice girls.

Like, girls that our mom and our sister

would like.

Okay, look, dude, we are going to Hawaii.

Let's go on vacation.

But it's not a vacation. It's a wedding.

Do you really think a wedding's

the best place for me?

Since the last wedding I went to

was mine...

and it didn't turn out very well.

I hear you, but look...

this sh*t is why this sh*t

is perfect, okay?

Because ever since Luke left,

you haven't been the same.

You need to get over that,

once and for all.

And this our shot, man.

That dude,

he's gonna get your groove back.

This right here is an opportunity

of a lifetime...

and you know we are entrepreneurs.

You know what?

Let's make these guys take us to Hawaii!

You're right! Let's do it!

Let's just do it!

- Yes, b*tch.

- Let's f***ing do it!

We'll be right back.

We gonna go to Hawaii!

We gonna go to Hawaii!

Whoa! Whoa!

- Hold up!

- What?

Those boys said they wanted nice girls.

We don't look like nice girls.

Yeah, I guess

I haven't showered in a while.

Fine, well, you know what we're gonna do?

We're gonna look respectable as f***.

Like nice girls.

Ugh.

Dude, it's like that Jesus rag!

Ow! It's part of me.

Tatiana, your underwear

needs more underwears.

Whoa!

Oh, this dress is my b*tch!

Dude, we have met 37 insane women.

We can't bring any of these girls.

Maybe Dad'll just forget about

his ultimatum.

Why would Dad forget about an old tomato?

No, his ultimatum.

- Old tom...

- Ultimatum.

Are you saying "old tomato"?

Ultima-tomb. Like a tomb or a crypt.

Ultimatum.

Well, we gotta figure something out,

because the wedding's coming up quick.

Why is everything a competition with you?

And I said that first, so actually,

I won that.

So what time are we meeting them?

Technically, no time.

Yeah, because I was thinking about

emailing them...

but then I was thinking, um...

what kind of floozy-ass bimbo

would respond to that ad?

Um...

Us.

Yeah, but we're not like those idiots.

You know what I'm saying?

Because they're all like,

"Oh! Pick me, pick me!"

it's like the guys interviewing the girls.

Like, it immediately would put us

in an inferior position.

We're gonna flip the script

and Bachelorette that sh*t.

- Those guys would be lucky to have us.

- Right.

- We just gotta make them think so.

- Okay, right.

But, you know,

I'm really not good at lying...

because I always try to start small

and then it gets crazy...

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