Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates Page #2

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You guys bringing wedding dates

was my idea.

Look, I love the sh*t out of you guys.

But everyone is already stressed out

about this wedding...

and I just need you to be cool.

Of course, Jeanie!

Please?

For me?

I promise. We would never do anything

to mess up your wedding.

Jeanie, we love you.

We want this to be

the best day of your life.

Yeah.

You, too, Eric.

- Oh.

- Oh. Thank you.

Mostly you, though, Jeanie.

If you want us to bring dates,

we're bringing dates.

All right, it's settled then.

Wedding dates!

Dave, buddy, let me talk to you

for a second, okay? Listen.

I'm sorry to lump you in with Mike...

but if I only told your older brother

to bring a date...

he'd get all weird about it.

I just feel like he's holding you back.

Dad, I don't mind

being lumped in with Mike.

Do you remember

the fifth grade bake sale...

when Mom made those cupcakes...

and I called them moist?

- Mm-hmm.

- Everyone called me Moist...

till Mike took a cupcake...

and shoved it in Tom Ginty's face.

He said, "Now you're moist, Moist."

That's the kind of guy Mike is.

So, think on that...

Dad.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to end that

on such a weird note, Dad.

- I love you. And thanks.

- Good. I don't want you to be mad.

I'm not even mad. I'm not even upset.

We're gonna find some dates.

I gotta say, some nights,

I am not looking my best.

But tonight is not one of those nights!

- Do you like my hair?

- Yeah, girl.

- You look good.

- No.

We're gonna make a lot of tips tonight.

Good. We need it. We don't have any money.

Uh, you got money for this ride, don't you?

- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!

- Yeah, yeah, yeah!

- 'Cause you have money?

- I thought you had money.

- I don't have any money.

- You know I don't have money.

Yeah, y'all are whispering like people

that don't got money.

Check it out. I'mma pay you right now.

Boop. I Apple Paid.

I don't even have Apple Pay.

Yo, Siri, pay this man.

He's already paid.

God damn it!

I'm not gonna take sh*t from you,

because this my cab.

You shouldn't take sh*t from us.

- You should kick us out!

- You should kick us out of this cab.

You know what? I'm gonna kick you

the f*** out of this cab.

Yeah, just go three more blocks up

on the right...

and then kick us out!

Here we are! Get out of my cab.

Thank you. You're a really good person.

Okay, God bless you.

I'm just gonna start driving for Uber.

F*** it.

Ooh. I got a good idea.

Let's pop off, get a couple of drinks

before work.

Just a few,

because I don't want to get hammered.

Yeah, of course not. Just a light buzz.

Hey, hey, hey! Welcome to Sake Bombers...

where your first Sake Bomb is on us!

- Kaboom!

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