Mercenaries Page #4

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So we figured the best thing with

you was to keep things simple.

M-1911A1.45 Colt.

Old-school gun for

an old-school girl.

Woman. I meant woman.

Would you pull your shirt up for me?

What is that?

It's a universal access number.

You get into trouble,

you dial this number.

Any phone in the world,

it will ring back here.

This chip is undetectable

to any metal detector.

This may sting.

Ahh!

F***.

What happened to

old-school memorization?

Sh*t!

Unh!

Ladies, your carriage arrives.

That piece of sh*t?

Hey, you be kind to Lula, huh?

"Tajikistan Motoring Press"

Named her car of decade.

Heh. What decade? The eighties?

I am Vez, number one in

import, export to Ganzar.

You're a smuggler.

So was Han Solo.

The important thing is that he says

He can get you into the Citadel.

How? I have man on inside

Who will vouch for you.

He's second cousin to

third sister's husband,

But I know him like first cousin

To second sister's husband,

And for right price, he looks other way.

Any more questions?

Yeah.

What's to stop us from splitting

the moment we hit the road?

You mean, like the

micro-explosive that's implanted

Subdermally in your carotid

When you were all knocked out?

Are you serious? No.

We don't need insurance.

Look at you.

This is what you were built for.

Road to Citadel is

swarming with patrols.

Is best to go local.

Ohh! Oh, my God!

What is that? It smells like yak piss.

No, no, no, is not yak.

Is goat.

Do you really trust this guy?

As much as I trust you.

So what do we do with Ulrika?

Leave her. The brass wants to

ask her a few choice questions

Before they shove her

into a dark, deep hole.

Sorry to ruin your fun.

Elise is the objective.

Rescue her, and you're free.

The clock's ticking.

Hey, I driver.

I no porter.

You have song in America.

Is a Christmas song.

Is very stupid song.

Is, uh, Adolf reindeer with red nose.

You know this song, huh?

Is about mutant, uh, reindeer

With a bioluminescent nose.

He's outcast. He's freak.

All of the reindeer,

they make fun of him...

So let's pretend we're

real military again,

Chain of command and everything.

Let's rescue Princess Peach,

Let's get our pardons,

And let's just never

see each other again.

Fine by me.

Kat, run the crypto

check, pretty please.

Charlie 2-3, this

is Foxtrot 1-2.

Crypto check. Over.

Why are we slowing down?

It's Ulrika's patrols, eh?

Don't worry. I handle it.

No, no, no, no.

We keep it cool, all right?

We can't risk them...

We can't risk them calling us in.

Guns away. Hide your face.

Merchandise.

Merchandise? Mm.

Open it.

Hey. Heh heh.

See? Merchandise.

Oh.

I'm going to need to

sample your merchandise.

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