Men in Black II

Synopsis: Kay and Jay reunite to provide our best, last and only line of defense against a sinister seductress who levels the toughest challenge yet to the MIBs untarnished mission statement: protecting the earth from the scum of the universe. It's been four years since the alien-seeking agents averted an intergalactic disaster of epic proportions. And now it's a race against the clock as Jay must convince Kay-who not only has absolutely no memory of his time spent with the Men In Black, but is also the only living person left with the expertise to save the galaxy-to reunite with the MIB before the earth submits to ultimate destruction.
Director(s): Barry Sonnenfeld
Production: Columbia Pictures
  4 wins & 15 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
88 min

Ever feel like you're alone

in the universe?



- Hey, let me buy you a piece of pie.

- Really?


Hey, you're not alone

in the universe.

- Remove the arm.

- Okay.

Please, shut up, Charlie.

Please, shut up, Charlie.

I'm tired of you constantly talking

behind my back.

I'm tired of you constantly talking

behind my back.

You meet a girl. She's into it.

The best line you come up with is:

"Wanna come back to my place for some

tonsil hockey and egg salad?"

- Who are you and how'd you get in here?

- You like egg salad?


Why didn't you say it was you?

- Where's the Light?

- Here's the deal.

You're looking for this Light.

We found it.

You want it, it'll cost you 50 mill.

Here's how it'll work. First...

Where is the Light?

We couldn't find it, but we found

a guy who might know where it is.

He runs a pizza parlour

on Spring Street.

Let's go. And wipe your nose, idiot.

- Good pie.

- Yeah.


Well, they got good pie.

What's wrong with you?

- You're gonna neuralyze me.

- No, I'm not.

You took me here

so I wouldn't make a scene.

You making a scene.

Let me ask you a question.

Why did you join MiB?

Six years in the Marines.

I like the action. Protect the planet.

You like being a hero?

You joined the wrong organization.

- You ever heard of James Edwards?

- No.

Well, he saved the lives of 85 people

on the subway tonight.

No one knows he exists.

And if no one knows he exists,

how can anyone ever love him?

Hey, how long we been partners?

- Feb 1.

- Five months, three days.

- Started at noon.

- Nine hours.

Get married. Have a bunch of kids.


Excuse me. My buddy's kind of shy,

but he thinks you are hot.

Here it is.

I don't know what to say.

Years from now,

you know what people'll say?

Rate this script:(5.00 / 1 vote)

Robert Gordon

Robert Gordon is an American screenwriter and producer. His writing credits consist of Addicted to Love (1997), Galaxy Quest (1999), Men in Black II (2002), and Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004). He also was an associate producer on Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018


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