Mean Girls Page #2

She's the queen bee.

The star. Those other two

are just her little workers.

Regina George.

How do I even begin

to explain Regina George?

Regina George is flawless.

She has two Fendi purses

and a silver Lexus.

I hear her hair's insured

for $10,000.

I hear she does car commercials.

In Japan.

Her favorite movie is Varsity blues.

One time, she met John Stamos

on a plane.

And he told her she was pretty.

One time,

she punched me in the face.

It was awesome.

She always looks fierce.

She always wins Spring Fling Queen.

- Who cares?

- I care.

Every year, the seniors throw

this dance for the underclassmen

called The Spring Fling.

And whomsoever is elected

Spring Fling King and Queen

automatically becomes head of the

Student Activities Committee.

And since I am an active member

of the Student Activities Committee,

I would say, yeah, I care.

Damian, you've truly

out-gayed yourself.

Here. This map is gonna

be your guide to North Shore.

Now, where you sit in

the cafeteria is crucial

because you got everybody there.

You got your freshmen,

ROTC guys,

preps, JV jocks,

Asian nerds,

cool Asians,

varsity jocks,

unfriendly black hotties,

girls who eat their feelings,

girls who don't eat anything,

desperate wannabes,

burnouts,

sexually active band geeks,

the greatest people

you will ever meet

and the worst.

Beware of The Plastics.

Hey. We're doing a lunchtime

survey of new students.

Can you answer a few questions?

- OK.

- Is your muffin buttered?

What?

Would you like us to assign

someone to butter your muffin?

- My what?

- Is he bothering you?

Jason, why are you such a skeez?

I'm just being friendly.

You were supposed

to call me last night.

Jason. You do not come to a party

at my house with Gretchen

and then scam on some poor, innocent

girl right in front of us three days later.

She's not interested.

Do you wanna have sex with him?

- No, thank you.

- Good. So it's settled.

So you can go shave your back now.

Bye, Jason.

B*tch.

Wait. Sit down.

Seriously, sit down.

Why don't I know you?

I'm new. I just moved here from Africa.

- What?

- I used to be home-schooled.

Wait. What?

- My mom taught me at home...

- No, no.

I know what home-school is.

I'm not retarded.

So you've actually never been

to a real school before?

Shut up.

Shut up.

- I didn't say anything.

- Home-schooled.

- That's really interesting.

- Thanks.

But you're, like, really pretty.

- Thank you.

- So you agree.

- What?

- You think you're really pretty.

- Oh, I don't know...

- Oh, my God, I love your bracelet.

- Where did you get it?

- Oh, my mom made it for me.

- It's adorable.

- Oh, it's so fetch.

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