Mean Girls

Synopsis: Her parents being zoologists, homeschooled Cady Heron lived in Africa for 15 years. Attending a Chicago public high school for the first time, she starts out by befriending the "best people you will meet", Janis, a supposedly lesbian girl; and Damian, a boy "too gay to function". Cady is warned to avoid the "worst people you will ever meet", the Plastics--a clique comprised of three girls: Gretchen Wieners, a girl who's rich because her father invented toaster strudel; Karen Smith, the "dumbest girl you will ever meet"; and Regina George, the unofficial leader and the meanest one. She becomes a hit with the Plastics and eventually assimilates into the clique, only for Janis to ask her sabotage them. After conflicts involving Regina's ex-boyfriend, Aaron Samuels, Cady later becomes tied between being part of them or sabotaging them. Whilst eventually becoming one, she sabotages them. She tricks Regina into eating fattening candy bars that she claims will make her skinny, tries to break
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Mark Waters
Production: Paramount Pictures
  7 wins & 25 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.0
Metacritic:
66
Rotten Tomatoes:
83%
PG-13
Year:
2004
97 min
$85,974,306
Website
14,832 Views

This is your lunch, OK?

Now, I put a dollar in there

so you can buy some milk.

You can ask one of the big kids

where to do that.

You remember your phone number?

I wrote it down for you, just in case.

Put it in your pocket,

I don't want you to lose it.

OK? You ready?

I think so.

It's Cady's big day.

I guess it's natural for parents to cry

on their kid's first day of school.

But, you know, this usually

happens when the kid is 5.

I'm 16 and until today,

I was home-schooled.

I know what you're thinking.

"Home-schooled kids are freaks."

X-Y-L-O-C-A-R-P.

Xylocarp.

Or that we're weirdly religious

or something.

And on the third day, God created

the Remington bolt-action rifle

so that Man could fight the dinosaurs.

And the homosexuals.

- Amen.

- Amen.

But my family's totally normal.

Except for the fact that both my

parents are research zoologists

and we've spent the last

I had a great life.

But then my mom got offered tenure

at Northwestern University.

So it was goodbye Africa

and hello high school.

I'm OK. Sorry.

I'll be careful.

Hi.

I don't know if anyone

told you about me.

I'm a new student here.

My name is Cady Heron.

Talk to me again

and I'll kick your ass.

You don't wanna sit there. Kristen

Hadley's boyfriend is gonna sit there.

Hey, baby.

He farts a lot.

Hey, everybody.

Oh, God, I'm so sorry.

It's not you. I'm bad luck.

Ms. Norbury?

My T-shirt's stuck

to my sweater, isn't it?

- Yeah.

- Fantastic.

Is everything all right in here?

- Oh, yeah.

- So...

...how was your summer?

- I got divorced.

My carpal tunnel came back.

- I win.

- Yes, you do.

Well, I just wanted to let

everyone know

that we have a new student joining us.

She just moved here

all the way from Africa.

Welcome.

- I'm from Michigan.

- Great.

Her name is Cady. Cady Heron.

- Where are you, Cady?

- That's me.

- It's pronounced like Katie.

- My apologies.

I have a nephew named Anfernee,

and I know how mad he gets

when I call him Anthony.

Almost as mad as I get

when I think about the fact

that my sister named him Anfernee.

Well, welcome, Cady.

- And thank you, Mr. Duvall.

- Well, thank you.

And...

...if you need anything or if you

wanna talk to somebody...

Thanks.

Maybe some other time,

when my shirt isn't see-through.

OK.

OK. Good day, everybody.

The first day of school was a blur.

A stressful, surreal blur.

I got in trouble for the

most random things.

- Where are you going?

- Oh, I have to go to the bathroom.

You need the lavatory pass.

OK. Can I have the lavatory pass?

Nice try. Have a seat.

I had never lived in a world

where adults didn't trust me,

where they were always yelling at me.

- Don't read ahead!

- No green pen!

No food in class!

I told you, I saw the whole thing.

- Everything.

- Did you see nipple?

- It only counts if you saw a nipple.

- That's true, dude.

I had a lot of friends in Africa.

What?

But so far, none in Evanston.

Hey. How was your first day?

Is that your natural hair color?

- Yeah.

- It's gorgeous.

Thank you.

See, this is the color I want.

This is Damian.

He's almost too gay to function.

- Nice to meet you.

- Nice wig, Janis.

- What's it made of?

- Your mom's chest hair!

- I'm Janis.

- Hi, I'm Cady.

Do you guys know

where Room G 14 is?

"Health, Tuesday/Thursday,

Room G 14."

I think that's in the back building.

- Yeah, that's in the back building.

- Yeah, we'll take you there.

Thanks.

Watch out, please!

New meat coming through!

"Health. Spanish."

You're taking 12th-grade calculus?

- Yeah, I like math.

- Why?

Because it's the same

Rate this script:(3.84 / 23 votes)

Tina Fey

Elizabeth Stamatina "Tina" Fey (; born May 18, 1970) is an American actress, comedian, writer, producer and playwright. She is best known for her work on the NBC sketch comedy series Saturday Night Live (1997–2006) and for creating the acclaimed comedy series 30 Rock (2006–2013) and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015–present). Fey is also known for her work in film, with starring roles in Baby Mama (2008), Date Night (2010), Megamind (2010), Muppets Most Wanted (2014), Sisters (2015), and Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (2016). Fey broke into comedy as a featured player in the Chicago-based improvisational comedy group The Second City. She then joined SNL as a writer, later becoming head writer and a performer, known for her position as co-anchor in the Weekend Update segment and, later, for her satirical portrayal of 2008 Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin in subsequent guest appearances. In 2004, she co-starred in and wrote the screenplay for Mean Girls, which was adapted from the 2002 self-help book Queen Bees and Wannabes. After leaving SNL in 2006, Fey created the television series 30 Rock for Broadway Video, a sitcom loosely based on her experiences at SNL. In the series, Fey starred as Liz Lemon, the head writer of a fictional sketch comedy series. In 2011, she released her memoir, Bossypants, which topped The New York Times Best Seller list for five weeks and garnered her a Grammy Award nomination. In 2015, she co-created the Netflix comedy series Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Fey created the musical adaptation Mean Girls, which premiered on Broadway in 2018, and earned her a Tony Award nomination. Fey has received nine Primetime Emmy Awards, three Golden Globe Awards, five Screen Actors Guild Awards, and seven Writers Guild of America Awards. In 2008, the Associated Press gave Fey the AP Entertainer of the Year award for her Sarah Palin impression on SNL. In 2010, Fey was awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, becoming the youngest-ever recipient of the award. more…

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"Mean Girls" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 17 Jun 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/mean_girls_13556>.

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