Me and Earl and the Dying Girl Page #2

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Are you telling me

you can't do

one nice thing

for another person?

I mean, honestly, is that

really what's happening here?

Fine. Okay.

Just, please don't

go through my stuff.

Or I'll start going through

your stuff.

I hope you like tampons.

It's

Central Pittsburgh on 90.5...

This is Rachel.

Hey, it's Greg Gaines.

Hi.

Yo!

So, I called a doctor...

...he said you needed

a prescription of Greg-acil.

What's that?

Uh...

It's me.

In convenient gel-tab form.

Oh.

Yeah.

So, I guess

you heard I'm sick.

Yeah.

Did my mom tell you?

Um, well, my mom told me.

Oh.

So, um...

What?

What?

What were you gonna say?

Um...

Greg, what?

Uh, yeah,

I was just calling to see

if you wanted to hang out.

Right now?

Um, sure.

No, thanks.

Oh.

Okay, so you don't

wanna hang out?

No. Thanks anyways.

Okay. Um, bye.

Bye.

Mom, what are you doing?

Okay, Mom, listen,

she doesn't want to see me.

I'm sorry to be the one

to tell you, Gregory...

...that you do not

have a choice

in this particular matter.

Mom, please, let me say

one thing for one second.

You have been

given an opportunity

to make a very real difference

in someone's life.

And if what you're

choosing instead

is to lie around the house

all day...

She doesn't want to see me!

...I will be required

to step in...

We're not even friends!

...and inform you that

that is 100% unacceptable.

Your nonstop stream of

words is making me freak out!

And if you think that all

these excuses you're making

are in any way better...

...or more important,

than the happiness

of a girl with cancer...

Mom! I am now entering

a subhuman state.

...a friend with cancer,

you are sadly mistaken,

my friend.

You are going to pick up

that phone.

You're going to

call Rachel again.

You are going to.

You are going to.

Oh, Greg.

Oh, Mrs. Kushner.

Denise, Greg.

To you, I'm Denise, okay?

Oh, okay. Good.

You're a real good kid,

you know that?

You really are.

You just have a big heart.

You're kind, nice.

I really appreciate it.

Thank you.

Good, good, good, good, good...

...good boy.

Okay.

You really are kind,

big-hearted, delicious...

...yummy, yummy, young boy.

And you're so, so, handsome.

Oh, I'm not handsome,

but thank you.

And so modest.

I guess I'm a modest mouse.

Greg, where do you come up

with this stuff?

Well, that's the name

of a band, actually.

Oh.

Yeah.

Rachel!

I've got a modest little mouse

here to see you!

Rachel.

Greg, what are you doing here?

So, uh...

...the doctor

really recommends

a strong dosage of Gregitor.

You already used that joke.

No.

No, 'cause last time

it was about Greg-acil...

...which if you recall comes

in convenient gel-tab form.

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