MASH Page #2

- Yeah.

- Who told you that?

- How do you know that?

- ''Though l walk through the valley

of the shadow of death,

l will fear no evil: for thoo art with me.''

Thou. Thou art with me.

- Jesus Christ.

- What's that about?

That's Major Burns, sir. Excuse me.

- New personnel, Major.

- Good.

- Hiya. Hawkeye Pierce.

- How do you do?

- Duke Forrest.

- Frank Burns.

- How are you?

- Go ahead, Ho-Jon.

''My cup runneth over.''

''Surely goodness and mercy

- shall follow...''

- What's this here?

Ho-Jon, one of our mess-hall boys.

l'm teaching him how to read.

ls that right?

Reading the Bible, huh? That's nice.

Listen, l got a book here

that's got a lot of pictures in it.

l think it's easier to learn how to read

when you look at pictures. A little adventure.

- May l leave now, Major?

- Sure, Ho-Jon.

You have fun.

There it is. Suture, Maty.

- What sutures are these?

- l can't see what the hell l'm doing.

- Scorch, l need some more sponge clamps.

- OK. Just a minute, Les.

Give me some big hunks of sponge,

for ctyin' out loud.

- Also some big sponges. Use these.

- That's bleedin'. That's gotta come out.

l can't stop that bleedin' down there.

- What's so funny?

- Nothing, sir. Not a thing.

- ls that true what l hear about you?

- Duke, back to the kidney. Come on.

- Oh, yeah.

- He's cute.

Give me a clamp. Give me a clamp.

- Here we go.

- Captain Pierce, did you call me?

No, and my name's Hawkeye.

Give me the saw.

l can't really see.

lt's like the Mississippi River down there.

Doesn't feel like it's in one piece.

l think it's gotta come out.

Get in. Get in there.

And give me some more

of that gauze wrapped up there.

- Ready?

- l'm ready.

Nurse, you got a clamp, please?

Scratch my nose. Just on the tip.

There. A little harder, please.

Attention. Attention.

All noncommissioned... Attention. Attention.

All noncommissioned officers

will report for short-arm inspection at 0400.

That is all.

- What's that?

- That's a martini, Frank.

Finest kind. We're trainin' Ho-Jon to be

a bartender. Would you care to imbibe, sir?

l don't drink.

Jesus Christ, l think he means it.

- l think we've been had, Hawkeye.

- l think you're right.

l don't think it's right to involve a boy

who's not 17 years old yet.

- You go to sleep now?

- Yeah.

- l go wash clothes.

- OK.

You make a mean martini there, Ho-Jon.

You keep it up, you hear?

Our Father, who art in heaven,

hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

- You ever catch this syndrome before, babe?

- Not with anyone beyond the age of eight.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom and the power

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