Mary And Max Page #5
Sweet baby Jesus.
Ooooah!
Even though Max's letter smelt
like fish heads and orange peel,
Mary drank his words
like a bowl of alphabet soup
and hadn't been this excited
since Grandpoppy Ralph
had found a coin up her nose.
She wrote back immediately
on some butchers' paper
she'd stolen from some chops.
Dear Max,
I'm so excited you've wroted back.
I don't think my parents like you
so from now on
send stuff to my neighbour Len Hislop
at 26 Lamington Drive,
Mt Waverley.
He's old with no legs.
They got chew"d"ed off
in World War ll
when some Japanese peoples
kept him in a cage above piranhas.
Piranhas are goldfish that have teeth.
He's scared of outside,
which is a disease called homophobia.
He's started giving me 50 cents a week
to get his mail.
I'm saving to buy a castle in Scotland
and marry a man called Earl Grey.
Do you get "The Noblets" in America?
Well, my favourite Noblet
is Vanity Noblet.
He wants to be everyone's friend,
even the boys'!
In your letter, you said
you had no friends.
Well, neither do l.
A-ha!
Yesterday at school, Bernie Clifford weed
on my spam sandwich
and called me "poo face"
'cos of my birthmark.
I wish I could peel it off like a bandaid.
He also laughed
'cos I had no buttons.
Ethel pecked them off
and Mum couldn't thread a needle
'cos she'd been testing the sherry
so she used pegs instead.
When I got home, I climbed into
my secret place till dinner time.
The other kids also laugh at my haircut.
Dad has to cut my hair
because mum says
real hairdressers
sell your hair to Chinamen
who stuff mattresses.
My teacher, Mrs Pendergast,
I told my mum
and so she drawed a big smile on me.
I don't think Mrs Pendergast
likes me anymore.
I better go now.
My tears are smudgling my words.
Your friend in Australia,
Mary Daisy Dinkle.
PS. Have you ever been teased?
Can you help me?
PSS. I've never been hang gliding
before or been a "commune-ist"
but would love a frisbee
and your recipe for chocolate hotdogs.
PSSS. I'm sending you some
Australian chocolate, a pompom I made
and a cake called a lamington,
which I was meant to eat for lunch.
Have you ever been teased?
Ooooooooooaaaahhhh!
Mary's letter
triggered memories
Max had buried deep down in his shoes.
We've got him cornered now.
Hey, Jew-boy, you're gonna pay...
Take this, Jew-boy, Jew-boy, Jew-boy.
And as usual,
he coped in the only way he knew.
And 36 chocolate hotdogs later...
..and after only two hours sleep,
and an idea popped into his brain.
Dear Mary Daisy Dinkle,
thank you for your letter, chocolate bar,
lamington and pompom.
The chocolate got crushed, so I blended
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"Mary And Max" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/mary_and_max_13437>.
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