Mary And Max Page #2
that looks like this.
He doesn't lay eggs but will one day.
cricket and sherry
and my father likes playing in his shed
with dead birds.
Where do babies come from
in America?
Do they come from cola cans?
In Australia
they are found in beer glasses.
Here is a drawing of me.
I can't draw ears proper
but I'm good at teeth.
It would be great if you could write back
and be my friend.
Yours "sincerealy", Mary Daisy Dinkle.
PS. I hope you like the chocolate bar
I'm also sending.
Goodbye, letter. Don't forget to write.
Max hated Thursdays
the day of his weekly
Overeaters Anonymous meeting.
And tonight he'd felt
especially unsettled
because he'd eaten two chocolate
hotdogs on his way there.
OK, class...
Eating chocolate was breaking the rules.
He'd found the night
even more unbearable
because of Marjorie Butterworth's
strange glances.
Class dismissed.
Max had trouble understanding
non-verbal signals.
Flirting was as foreign to him
as jogging.
Max found most people very confusing.
But little did Max realise
even more confusing and cryptic.
Hmm.
He read Mary's letter four times
and then did what he normally did
whenever confronted
with something new and stressful.
Max's fragile existence
had once again become unsettled.
And after staring out of the window
for 18 hours
he finally made a decision.
Dear Mary Daisy Dinkle,
thank you for the letter,
which I opened and read at 9.1 7pm
after my Overeaters Anonymous class.
I am trying to lose weight
because my psychiatrist,
Dr Bernard Hazelhof,
says a healthy body
equals a healthy mind.
Ooooh!
He says my mind is not that healthy.
Your drawing is an interesting
visual portrayal of yourself.
I have never met anyone from Australia.
Firstly, I will answer your question.
Unfortunately, in America,
babies are not found in cola cans.
I asked my mother when I was four
and she said they came from eggs
laid by rabbis.
If you aren't Jewish,
they're laid by Catholic nuns.
If you're an atheist,
they're laid by dirty, lonely prostitutes.
So this is where babies come from
in America.
I share my home with a fish,
some snails, whom I have named
after famous scientists...
..a parakeet called Mr Biscuit
and, finally, a cat called Hal.
"Hal" is an abbreviation for halitosis,
from which he suffers.
He followed me home
after a gang of children
shot his eye out with a beebee gun.
Do you have a pet kangaroo?
When I was born, my father
left my mother and me on a kibbutz.
She shot herself with my uncle's gun
when I was six.
Do you like chocolate hotdogs?
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"Mary And Max" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/mary_and_max_13437>.
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