Mars Attacks! Page #3

- - How about it?

A date?

Sounds good.

The stress at work is...

...unbelievable.

Mr. Bava, can I speak to you in private?

No, I gotta watch the floor.

What do you want, Byron?

-I'm supporting my family back East.

-I thought you were divorced.

Well, I am,

but I still have to take care of them.

Anyway, look. Things have been

a little lean around here...

...and I was wondering

if I could get a raise?

-Out of the question.

-Mr. Bava, I'm an asset to this hotel.

-I mean, they like me around here.

-Byron, you're a nice guy.

But I can get Leon Spinks or Buster Douglas

for the same money, maybe less.

You better get moving.

You're on in five minutes.

This show's gonna get

a hell of a rating.

It's all yours, Ian.

--language you choose to employ,

and in certain circumstances...

...the proposition that two and two

equals five...

...is entirely legitimate.

Call me Nathalie.

And you, do please call me Donald.

I've always admired your show.

Really? You like my work?

Yes. Very much.

Why....

Why, thank you.

Coming out of commercial.

In five, four, three, two....

Welcome back. We're speaking

with Professor Donald Kessler.

He's the chairman

of the American Academy of Astronautics.

Professor...

...isn't it weird that we sent

a space probe to Mars...

...and we didn't even find anyone?

Well, not really, Nathalie...

...because we didn't get into the canals.

The Martian canals are actually canyons.

Some of them are over 100 miles deep.

The Martian civilization

has clearly developed...

...under the surface of the planet.

Their science and technology

must be absolutely mind-boggling.

So, what, in your view, Donald Kessler...

...chairman, are some of the things

that the Martians can teach us, professor?

Quite a lot about Mars, I expect, Nathalie.

She's flirting with him.

Ahem. But seriously,

this is tremendously exciting.

Think of it. The knowledge, new ideas.

It's gonna change everything.

And we must be open to it.

Maybe they can tell us

about our universe.

How it started. Where it's going.

Perhaps even its purpose.

It's tremendously exciting.

This is the most important thing to happen

since Jesus walked in Galilee.

Oh, Christ. What's wrong with the picture?

Go to Camera 2!

I can't. It's busted.

Well, then go to 1. Go to 4.

He just copped a feel.

Now what?

What's that?

So that's a Martian.

That's a Martian?

-Oh, my God.

-Yikes.

I'm not gonna have that thing

in my house.

Sweetie, we may have to. The people

will expect me to meet with them.

Well, they're not gonna eat off

the Van Buren china.

Oh, look at that brain.

He must be real smart.

It's gross.

Don't forget, Nathalie...

...that we will look equally gross to him.

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