Marci X

Good evening, I'm Marci Feld.

Oh, thank you.

Please! Oh, please, stop it!

Enough. That's enough.

Tonight, the American Jewish

Federation...

You Jews, you wonderful Jews.

Who needs Santa Claus?

Am I right?

Tonight, the AJF presents

its highest honor,

its Global Humanitarian Award,

to the finest human being

I have ever known.

This award goes to my father,

Mr. Ben Feld.

We love you, bubby!

Ben! We're here for you!

Isn't he handsome?

And kosher, right?

Love you.

Now, most of you may think of my

father as, first and foremost,

an incredibly successful

corporate legend,

but he has always taught me

about responsibility

and giving something back.

He would say, "Sweetheart, you

are the prettiest, the smartest,

"the most perfect girl

in the whole world,

so you must reach out

to all of those who aren't."

Powerful.

Doesn't Marci

look fabulous?

Ultra-Marci.

Mega-Marci.

The full Marci.

Ten years ago,

we opened our first

shelter for the homeless,

helping those in need

of a bed, counseling,

and shampoo and conditioner.

Next came a drug rehab program

called "Marci Cares,"

and today, there are 25

branches of Marci Cares

all across the tri-state area.

Can you imagine being

addicted to heroin?

Oh, it's heartbreaking.

But does the weight

stay off?

I only wish that my mother

Sheila could be with us

on this joyous occasion.

But, as some of you know,

six years ago,

while we were opening

a free clinic in Johannesburg,

she was tragically killed by

a savage South African leopard.

It is in her memory

that I would now like to present

this medal of mercy,

a medal from Marci.

Tonight, this award

goes to my father,

Mr. Ben Feld!

We have problems, sir.

Daddy?!

Daddy, where are you going?

Was it the entree?

Daddy...

Daddy...

What's going on?

Marci, incoming.

This way, Miss Feld.

Daddy, what is wrong? I...

Shh! Sweetheart, sit.

The corporate crisis

centering on Ben Feld

has begun to escalate

out of control.

I got here as

fast as I could.

Daddy, what is this?

Daddy's busy.

...include the notorious

urban record label

called Felony Assault.

Earlier today,

that label released

a new CD by controversial

gangsta rap star Dr. S.

Dr. S has been

a hard-core success...

I don't know this person.

He's a rapper.

His songs are known

for their extreme sexual

and often violent content.

His latest release, however,

is by far his most provocative.

Controversy is erupting,

protesters are converging

on Feldco headquarters

in Manhattan.

An angry mob is calling for

blood, specifically the blood

of mogul Ben Feld...

Oh, Daddy, is that your picture?

...honored tonight

as a great humanitarian.

I am here with senator

and leading media watchdog

Mary Ellen Spinkle.

Oh, no.

I am appalled.

Is she wearing

a helmet?

I am outraged.

I am so disgusted

that I can barely speak...

but I will.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

This recording

is unspeakably offensive,

not just to all Americans,

but to all human beings

everywhere.

I will not quote the lyrics

because, as a Christian,

I cannot even pronounce

some of the words.

But let me just read you

some of the song titles:

"Shoot the Teacher."

Oh, my...

-Yes!

-Not good.

"l Am the King of Your Mouth."

-Very nice.

-Uh-oh. -Ooh!

"You My Special B*tch."

-Wait...

-Mmm!

"l Love You Because

I'm High."

"Six Grades Are Plenty."

Lane, did you ask Legal?

Do I really own this label?

You bought it years ago

as part of a package.

"lt Ain't My Baby Because

I Don't Like You."

This is it.

...and "The Power in my Pants."

Has Dr. S gone too far?

I don't blame these rappers,

I blame the man who profits

from this perversion!

I blame the man who makes

his dirty millions

from the wholesale slaughter

of our children's innocence!

I blame an American Satan,

Ben Feld!

I am calling for a complete

boycott of all Feldco products

including movies, newspapers,

TV shows,

and DVDs!

A boycott?

A boycott?!

Are you listening to this,

Mr. Feld?

Or I should say "Mr. Filth."

Ben Feld...

you are a dead man!

-Ben?

-Uh-oh...

Ben!

Daddy!

Ben, don't die!

The moral firestorm

blazing around Ben Feld

has raged into a white-hot

economic inferno.

A what?!

Pickets have closed

record stores nationwide.

My God... I'm choking...

We have contacted Tubby Fenders,

the president of Felony Assault,

who is currently serving time

-in a penitentiary.

-Look...

Yo.

Mr. Fenders, what about Dr. S?

Dr. S would never apologize!

He would never bow down

to the white man's censorship!

Just like me, he has been

unjustly oppressed and accused!

Tubby Fenders, the president

of Felony Assault Records.

Give me that remote!

Big baby!

I can't believe this.

Everything I worked for

my whole life,

it's all going

to crumble.

Baby, I'm so sorry.

Daddy!

Because you

have to see all this.

Because l...

I just wish I had a son.

Why would you want a son?

Someone to take over,

to take charge,

so that you wouldn't

have to worry.

Someone we could trust.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I just two weeks, we are going

to put Ben Feld on trial

before the entire civilized

world and China...

That's it! That's it!

I'm out of here!

What?!

Uh-oh. Dr. Skellar!

I need Dr. Skellar!

Oh, Daddy! Look...

Look what's happening.

I can't stay here!

I... I...

You get back in that bed,

Your Highness.

Mr. Feld...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes