Man of the Year Page #2
The people of America are not being represented.
Our political leaders are too indebted
to special-interest groups and party politics.
This country was founded on the principle
of government of the people,
by the people, for the people.
We are the wealthiest nation
in the history of the world,
we are the most powerful nation on this planet,
and yet we can't educate our own children.
- Thought that went pretty well.
- Lincoln got more laughs at the Gettysburg Address.
Don't start.
Everybody Loves Raymond
is doing huge numbers in reruns.
- Comedy sells. Can we remember that?
- I don't want to get into this.
I don't care what you say, but say it with humor.
You give speech after speech, nothing's funny.
- They'll get funny when I'm back on the show.
- It's too dry.
I came on the campaign to talk about issues.
There's no pop, zing. There's no oomph.
Remember the motto "It's no joke?"
It's no joke!
Tom, can't you do just two jokes of mine?
You're a comedian who talks about politics.
So when you talk about politics without the comedy,
it's like wanting to get laid
and forgetting to bring along the woman.
You'll quickly discover something is missing.
We should have politicians who represent us
and not special-interest groups.
Whenever they want to distract you
they use weapons of mass distraction -
they bring up a constitutional amendment
to ban burning of the flag.
By spending time in Congress talking about that,
education, environmental issues...
I'm here to talk tonight about political commercials.
That's where most of the money goes
in any political campaign.
Politicians have to spend so much money
just to buy TV time.
This is where the special-interest groups start.
When you have a political campaign
that costs $200 million,
you owe someone something
somewhere down the line.
That's why I refuse to run television commercials.
Just be entertaining. Look at it this way.
Who would you rather have dinner with:
Richard Pryor in his prime,
or Kofi Annan, the head of the U.N.?
Tell me which dinner is gonna be more interesting.
If there's no candles, Richard.
But I'd like to be with Kofi just to say, "Coffee, Kofi?"
"What? Coffee, Kofi? Kofi, coffee?"
He's in the debate?
He's in the debate!
- Tom Dobbs is gonna be in the debate!
- What?
They're gonna let him participate in the debate.
Have we struck gold or what!
- Oh, my God!
- We'll have to start writing.
We can write it, but is he gonna do any of it?
- Praise the internet!
- 16 million emails spoke loud and clear!
The following is a quote
from our debate advisory standards:
"All candidates who demonstrate
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"Man of the Year" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/man_of_the_year_13267>.
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