Man of the House Page #2

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Now I'll never get my psych paper done.

I'll just keep seeing his head explode.

Evie, remember what we said?

You got to breathe.

Let air in, and now let that air out, okay?

I totally have a double chin.

I don't trust cops.

We shouldn't say anything

till our lawyers get here.

We don't need lawyers.

We didn't do anything.

Relax, everybody.

We just came here to tell them what we saw.

- Do we have to?

- Yes.

As cheerleaders,

we're role models to the community at large.

If we don't do the right thing,

how can we expect others to?

Now I'm gonna throw up.

I'm not gonna be staying here all night long.

Why don't we just tell these people

that we need to reschedule for tomorrow?

Well, I can't do morning.

I'm having my legs waxed.

I have a biochem lab at noon.

I'm good between 2:30 and 4:00.

Would that work for everybody?

Don't work for me.

And who are you?

Roland Sharp, Texas Ranger.

Oh, my God. Do you know Derek Jeter?

No, he means the other Texas Rangers.

You know, like the Lone Ranger.

He had that cool Indian friend.

What was his name?

Tonto?

He was hot.

Why don't guys wear loincloths anymore?

A Texas Ranger was shot this evening

in connection to the murder you witnessed.

Anything you remember,

no matter how insignificant...

may be of the utmost importance.

- Do you want a piece?

- No, I do not.

- You don't like gum?

- No.

Chewing gum is the most significant factor

in the decline of Western civilization.

The decline of what?

When people chew gum,

nobody can read their expressions.

Like with BOTOX.

I like an older man

who knows what he wants.

All right.

We should so not get involved in this.

Oh, God, here she goes again.

- She do this a lot?

- Whenever she gets nervous.

She drops, like, 10 pounds around finals.

Can anybody describe the perpetrator?

"Perpetrator"?

The bad man with the gun.

Actually, he was kind of cute.

Gross. He was a total skank.

On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give him a 4.

No, a ruthless killer's kind of sexy.

I give him an 8.

Let's try to concentrate. How tall was he?

Average. Like, 5'10".

No way. 6'2" at least.

I thought he was kind of short.

What about his hair?

Definitely needs to rethink his cut.

- I mean the colour of his hair.

- It was dark. Almost black.

I thought it was blond.

- What?

- This is bad.

Did he have any...

distinctive facial characteristics?

Sideburns? A moustache?

- There might've been a moustache.

- No, definitely not.

Was I the only one who saw a goatee?

Look at these guys.

You guys, wait.

Wait. Looks like your ex-boyfriend,

Brook Burton.

No, he doesn't.

Morning, Cap.

The Dixie Chicks here...

Iooked at 5,759 mug shots last night.

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