Man in the Chair Page #2

How do you expect people

to understand your fat ass?

WELLES:
in a monkey suit?

You too, you got one of them...

MAN:

Well, we were all at the banquet.

OLD MAN:
Aah!

Excuse me, sir, but could

you keep it down?

A few of us actually

wanna enjoy this film.

OLD MAN:
Hey! Shut up!

Good-for-nothin' goldbricker.

If you had a job,

you wouldn't be here.

I'll have you know

my husband teaches...

The Virtue of Cinematic Morals

and Economics at C.S.U.N.

Cinematic morals?

Now, there's an oxymoron.

How'd you get that job?

Win it in a raffle?

- I created it.

- That can't be true.

You're buyin' your own bullshit.

You seem to be

out of touch, dear man.

Out of touch?

Hey, look, professor.

I've made more movies

than you've been to.

So why don't you just shut

your Cinematic Morals hole...

and maybe let fat Orson here

teach you something?

MAN ON SCREEN:
Of course,

we're all of us going to cooperate.

You won't have

any trouble with me.

You bet your sweet life I won't.

MAN:
O.K., folks.

We're going again.

And lights!

[Switch clicks]

[Whooshing]

Roll sound!

- MAN 2:
We have speed.

- MAN 1:
Roll camera!

MAN 3:
Turning.

MAN 4:

Scene 27, take 4. Marker.

And action!

ACTOR:
And that's what

you know about Rosebud?

Cut! Cut! God damn it!

Who flashed that arc light?

Murray!

- I'll take care of this, sir.

- [Welles grunts in anger]

- Security.

- Go.

You flashed that light on purpose,

you incompetent fool.

It was a faulty arc, Mr. Welles.

You're all incompetent! You're

all trying to sabotage my film!

Mr. Welles,

why would I wanna do that?

Citizen Kane

is gonna be a great film.

Murray.

MURRAY:

Escort this man off the set.

I would never do something

like that on purpose!

I love my job!

Why would I try to lose it?

If you love your job, you'll

never work a day in your life.

Winston Churchill!

Wait, Wait. Bring him back!

Churchill... Well, bravo!

An electrician

who can actually read!

What a pleasant surprise.

Well played.

What's your name?

Glenn Madden.

Glenn Madden? [Laughs]

No, I don't think so.

From now on, your name

will be "Flash" Madden.

You'll go further, trust me.

CHARLTON HESTON:
You gonna do

something about it?

WELLES:
Well, make it a charge.

Isn't that police procedure

in Mexico?

- Procedure?

- You say your wife was attacked.

I did not say she was attacked.

- Did you say she was molested?

- Not physically.

Charlton Heston

playin' a Mexican.

Jesus Christ,

give me a friggin' break.

- I don't think so.

- How do you explain the fact...

You never could act

in pants, Chuckles!

WELLES:
Joe Grandi.

That's right.

Go on.

Pony Express was the first

film he ever wore pants in.

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