Mallrats Page #2
- R
- Year:
- 1995
- 94 min
- 2,078 Views
- Hell hath no fury...
..like a woman scorned for a Sega.
Wow, look at this
laundry list of complaints.
You have no direction,
no college ambition, no job prospects...
It also says I have no dick.
But that follows the financial question,...
..proving again what women really look for.
- Wow, she calls you ''callow'' in here.
- You say that like it's bad.
- It means frightened and weak-willed.
- Really?
Sh*t. That was the only part
of the letter I thought was complimentary.
Ah, well, you're lucky.
Unlike you, I didn't even get
a letter filled with obscure adjectives.
- What are you telling me here?
- I too, now, am in the framing business.
- Aren't you supposed to go to Florida?
- Yeah. Shoulda left this morning.
- Where?
- 0n the Universal tour.
You're kidding! What part?
- When Jaws pops out of the water.
That's the most romantic thing
I've ever heard.
Too bad I'm not tryin' to marry you.
Let me ask you something.
Did you ever fart in front of her?
- Why do you ask?
- I never once farted in front of Rene.
Then last week, I let one slip.
Today she dumps me.
You think that that's why Rene dumped
you? She's not the shallow type, Brodie.
- She was goin' down on me.
- Shut up!
What? What can I say?
I was feeling very relaxed.
When I'm relaxed, I squirt.
If all she did was dump you,
you got off light.
I can't believe this sh*t. Why are we here
tryin' to figure out where we went wrong?
- We just nailed it in your case.
- No, there is something...
..that can help ease our double loss.
- Ritual suicide.
- No, you idiot, the f***in' mall!
- Come on, it'll be great.
They got these new cookies
at the cookie stand. They're awesome.
I love the smell of commerce
in the morning!
- You're really makin' that last.
- Waste not, want not.
- You wanna say something?
- A million things!
But I can't express myself monosyllabically
enough for you to understand 'em all.
- A**hole.
- Prick.
- What was that all about?
- That's the jerk from Fashionable Male,...
..this wannabe shop on the second floor.
He's the manager. The guy's always
givin' me sh*t. I have no idea why.
- I thought everybody loved you here.
- Eff him.
- Where do you wanna go first?
- Back to Brandi's.
Look, Brandi is the past, my friend.
She's behind you now.
You face forward, or you face
the possibility of shock and damage.
- You should heed your own advice.
- Where the hell did that come from?
Looks like a stage is being erected.
- What is this monstrosity?
- Is it the Easter Bunny pictures?
Impossible! That's at
the other end of the mall.
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"Mallrats" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/mallrats_13230>.
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