Malice in Wonderland Page #2

Tie is a green channel at customs.

He's got him something special.

I'd like to know what.

Now!

Mr. Big.

What Class A delights

have you robbed for us tonight?

- You're in no state to get lippy.

- Whitey, he's got your money.

I wouldn't have hurt you, you know that.

Adios.

- Hey, thanks.

- For what?

- For saving me.

- This ain't over, Whitey!

- Only bird worth saving is Her Majesty.

- You get him a tie, I get him a shirt.

- I've got a heart attack plan.

- You get him shoes, I get him a handbag!

I've got till 10 o'clock

to find the best present ever for Harry.

So, who is this stupid Harry, anyway?

He'd have your head saying that.

Harry's been inside.

Word is Harry's organised a big bank job.

Massive. Millions waiting to be robbed.

Everybody wants him.

That's why the fight to get him

the bestest coming-out present.

To buy his favour.

When Harry picks his team

for the big one...

he's making millionaires.

He don't do nothing by halves,

Harry, see.

He sorted out the clubs and their owners.

Then there was the diamond geezers.

I believe that got messy.

Then the spades tried muscling in.

Last one dead was the DJ.

Does like his music, does Harry...

George Michael, Pet Shop Boys,

Liberace...

He sounds... fascinating.

I've heard Harry called a lot of F words...

"Fascinating" is a new one.

Tonight is his coming out party.

Everyone who's anyone

will be showering him with gifts

Except me-

because mine's gone walkabout.

Well, he might not notice. I mean,

he'll be busy with his other presents.

He's got the all-seeing eye. He makes

Sauron look like Stevie Wonder.

That's why I've got to pull something

big out of the hat. Come on, just think!

I think...

I think I might hurl.

Medication on an empty stomach.

Not good.

Always read the label.

"The Imperial."

Stuffed with chicken, shish,

doner, some other dead thing-

only 9,000 points on Weight Watchers.

Never tasted anything like it.

Half a goat in there, easy.

Now...

Order of the day. What do I get a man

who can rob everything?

Well, what's he into?

Banks, security vehicles, blokes...

Does he like art?

'Round here art is getting

the spelling right on your tattoo.

- What about a cake?

- Who buys a mob boss a cake?

- Someone who cares.

- That's what I thought. Nice one, Britney.

That's not my name.

You don't know who you are.

So you don't know who you're not.

- There's got to be something in here...

- Hey, that's personal.

Only to you, and we don't know you,

so... it's not.

- Is it not?

- OK...

OK...

Proper nip-tucked.

Lippy...

"Vegetarian's Guide to London."

Radio thingy...

- Is this where you're staying?

- Could be.

- Well, I know one thing.

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