Make Happy Page #3

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- Too bad.

? Hey, Bo, guess what? ?

- Correct!

It's not funny.

? You're a f*ggot, you're a f*ggot

You're a f***ing f*ggot ?

? You're a f*ggot, you're a f***ing... ?

Can you turn the lights off at least?

? You're a f*ggot, you're a f*ggot

You're a f***ing f*ggot... ?

Is this funny to you people?

Turn it off. Turn the track off!

Why was it on a record player?

You got a record player back there?

You have hooked up a record player?

You know,

it's one thing to make that,

but to press it onto vinyl

is a whole other thing, all right?

It's gonna outlive me.

Just to be clear,

I wrote, conceived and executed

the entirety of that bit.

Do not give those dumb fucks any credit.

It's all me, baby.

All me.

Look at you people

in the Abe Lincoln seats.

Bam! Too late.

Too late.

How dare you make that joke so late?

I'm a big fan of hip-hop.

'Cause I like words.

I like poetry.

And hip-hop feels like a way

to condense a lot of those things

into a short amount of time.

There are artists

that still do that. Uh...

Yeah, Kendrick Lamar,

very word-heavy, very poetic. But-

What are you doing?

Look, this is my show.

Do not veer credit

to people outside this building.

Most...

most...

Hip-hop artists, for me,

and it is for me, hip-hop,

has traded in words and poetry

for beat fetishism.

It's where you make a sick beat

and then you rap anything over it.

And people lose their minds.

I'll give you an example.

Is there a sick beat back there for me?

Oh, sh*t!

? I am not one of you ?

? I am not a human being ?

? You know what I am? ?

? I'm a little teapot

Short and stout ?

? Here is my handle

Here is my spout ?

? When I get all steamed up

Then I shout ?

? Sing it

Tip me over and... ?

- Pour me out!

- Let's go.

? Pour me out

Pour me out ?

? Tip me over

And pour me out ?

? Nigga, pour me out ?

? Pour me out ?

- ? Tip me over and pour me out ?

? Baa, baa, black sheep

Have you any wool? ?

? Yes, sir, yes, sir, three bags full ?

? One for the master, one for the dame ?

? One for the little boy

That's livin' down the lane ?

- ? Baa ?

? Lives down the lane ?

- ? Whoo! ?

- ? Lives down the lane ?

Why is there a young boy

living alone down the lane?

Who signed this boy's lease?

Am I the only one

concerned for this little boy?

Two examples is enough.

Okay, thank you.

A lesser comedian

would have milked that for four verses.

And a better comedian

wouldn't have done it all.

I'm right in the sweet spot.

These, uh...

These cannons cost $200,

just for that joke.

I could give that money

to a homeless person, make their day,

and I don't do that very often.

That is my first decision every morning.

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