Magic Page #2

---

You see the broad|with the big jugs?

You mean the ah,|young lady in the feathers?

Yeah, I see her so what?

Wonder if she'ld like a|roll in the shavings with me?

I don't think|you're very funny.

Well they do.

Thank you.

Thank you.

A nice gimmick, the dummy.

What's his name?

Fats.

Don't encourage him.

I will now change|a diamond into a heart.

I guess the reason|I'm such a great lover is um...

I don't want to hear|about your sex life

if you don't mind.

Tell us all about yours then.

Everybody likes short stories.

Shhh, Don't encourage him|please ladies and gentlemen.

That's really|a clever shtick.

Thank you.

All right,

pick a diamond.

Huh?

I said pick a diamond.

All right.

It can change into a|heart while I'm holding it.

Well, go on,|show the audience.

If you're so great,

change it while|I'm holding it.

You won't give it back to me?

Well that's another|trick you've ruined.

Let's see,

I'll just have to|think of something else.

You mean you're not gonna|change my diamond into uh...

Jesus Christ.

What?

It turned into a heart

while I was holding it.

How'd he do that?

How'd he do that?

How did he do it?

How many times|do I have to tell you.

Do you want to|get out of here alive?

The kids good,|I'll give him that.

Sure he's good.

I got me maybe the best|magician in 50 years.

Team'd with the first|X-rated dummy on the block.

Eat your heart out.

You say he really|bombed here first time?

Yes.

Of course he didn't have|the dummy with him then.

The dummy helps.

No question.

Right.

Local talent?

No.

He was brought up near|Grossinger's in the Catskills.

I think his old|man was a limey.

Came here to work|in a health club

and gave massages.

Somethin' like that.

It's me.

Chick, It's old Gangrene.

Gangrene.

That's funny.

Quick into.

Corky, our visitor from|New York, George Todson.

How do you do sir?

You have a lot of potential.

Hey what about me?

You're terrific too Fats.

Thanks Mr. Wigston,

I mean Tubeston.

Todson.

Todson.

Now that's what I call funny.

Hey, you'll strain|your pacemaker.

Behave yourself.

Come here a second, will ya?

Ah, by the way,

how did you change|the diamond to the heart?

I'm the misdirection dummy.

While we're bullshittin',

you could bring an|elephant on to the stage.

Which is why this magician

will not bomb on the tube.

Why?

Because the goddamn|camera watches their faces

and not Corky's hands.

So you live and you learn.

See ya.

Bye.

Yeah, all right.

How'd it go?

Sen-f***in'-sational.

See I'm catching.

What happens next?

Well, we reel 'em in slow.

The same kind of|low key build up

we gave|Steve Martin last year.

I'm not lettin' you|near New York,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes